Chris: Bam! We're going to the Run-DMC concert.
Greg: Dude, this is incredible. I promise I'll pay you back, ten dollars a week. This is the best thing anyone's ever done for me since my mom took me back from the foster home.

Rochelle: Now I wish I wasn't hurt, but I am. So I'm gonna need you two to pick up the slack around here, okay?
Drew: What do we have to do?
Rochelle: [sighs] Not a lot. [hands them a list]
Tonya: All of this?!
Rochelle: Now you can appreciate all the hard work I do around here. Ow! Ow! Drew, go get my Turtles. Tonya, put my feet up. You know my ankles swell. Pass me the remote. Move out the way. You're blocking the TV. [applause on TV] Now that's what I'm talking about. Come on here, girl. You can do it, sister. Come on, joker...! Come on, joker! Yes!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You should've seen her when she watched Card Sharks.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Now that I was going to the show, I couldn't wait for Mr. Omar to show me the money.
Chris: Hey, Mr. Omar, I was just wondering what I needed to do to finish up my scholarship work.
Mr. Omar: Oh, I appreciate your enthusiasm, Chris. As you know, death doesn't wait, so come on in. I'm just finishing up my preparation for the death Jubilee. Sweep that up.
Chris: Death Jubilee?
Mr. Omar: Oh, it's only the biggest event of the year. It's like the auto show.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If you drive a hearse.

Drew: Toast?
Julius: Toast for dinner?
Rochelle: Tonya can't cook and it's the best that I could do in the condition that I'm in.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She's using most of her energy faking being hurt.
Rochelle: Ow! Thank you. Chris, why don't you pass the toast around? See? I got wheat toast and white toast and raisin and crust and crustless.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No pumpernickel?
Rochelle: Mommy also has grape jelly, strawberry jelly, hot sauce...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Hot sauce?
Rochelle: ...cinnamon, honey and syrup to dip your crust in.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Hot sauce?
Chris: Hot sauce?

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I was missing Run-DMC, but my father was really missing his quarters.
Rochelle: Shouldn't you be at work, baby?
Julius: Rochelle, I think Tonya may have stolen from me.
Rochelle: What?!
Julius: I went to the bank and the quarters I had her roll up for me came up short.
Rochelle: Oh, no, my daughter is not gonna grow up to be a thief. We're gonna get to the bottom of this. I still got one good arm left.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father hated to think that Tonya had stolen again, but he also hated being short $2.50.
Julius: Tonya, did you roll those quarters like I told you to?
Tonya: Yeah. Why?
Julius: When I went to the bank, every one of those rolls was a quarter short. What happened to the rest of my money?
Tonya: Well, I took one quarter out of each roll.
Julius: You didn't think anybody wouldn't notice that? What did you do with the money, Tonya?
Tonya: Well, I was trying to save to make you another roll.
Julius: Save for another roll?
Tonya: Yeah. You didn't think I was stealing from you, did you?
Julius: No, of course not.
Tonya: Well, that's what it sounds like to me.
Julius: No, no, that's not what it sounds like.
Tonya: I'm just saying...
Julius: Huh?! Look, your mother, she needs some help. Look, here, take that and buy some candy or something, okay?
Tonya: No, Daddy, you keep it.
Julius: Coming, baby! Coming!

Hattie Mitchell: Oh, I'm gonna miss him! But you know what? He had a good life.
Chris: Yeah, sounds like you two got along.
Hattie Mitchell: Oh, no, he was a pain in the ass. [laughs] But he was my pain in the ass.
Chris: Yeah.
Hattie Mitchell: Young man, can I tell you something?
Chris: What's that?
Hattie Mitchell: This is the best I've felt in days. Thank you.
Chris: You're welcome.
Hattie Mitchell: Come on. I know there's someplace you got to be.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] There was someplace I wanted to be, but I was right where I needed to be.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I thought the BFD scholarship was gonna be easy money, but I was dead wrong. At least I was finally about to get paid.
Mr. Omar: Here you go. A voucher for $250 worth of books.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Books?
Chris: Books?
Julius: Books?
Mr. Omar: Well, you didn't think you were getting cash, did you? Good night.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Tragic.
Julius: [to Chris] You owe me a hundred dollars.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] For as long as I can remember, music was a part of my life. And in 1986, the biggest act in the world was Run-DMC.
Risky: What you listening to, young blood? Young blood... what you listening to?
Chris: Run-DMC.
Manny: What kind of name is "Run"? Ain't that a verb, everybody? [men chuckling]

Mr. Omar: All you have to do is sign right here and you're the new BFD scholar.
Chris: Good. Now when do I get the money?
Mr. Omar: Oh, as soon as you're done with the program.
Chris: Will I be done with the program by tomorrow at 6:00?
Mr. Omar: Oh, it's gonna take longer than that to learn all you need to know about death.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No, it's not, because right now I'm having a heart attack.