Rochelle: Quiet, shh! Shh. [tapes] Hello. Thank you for calling. No one is available to take your call right now. Please leave a message at the sound of the beep, and we'll get back to you as quickly as possible. [stops tape]
Tonya: But what if we don't want to get back to someone as quickly as possible?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It means you're a girl.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at home, my father spent the afternoon with Oprah to get ready for an evening with my mother.
Rochelle: What's this?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Flowers from a White person's garden.
Julius: These are for you.
Rochelle: For what?
Julius: Because I love you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That look means: "Okay, what did you do?"
Rochelle: Okay, what did you do?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Not this.
[fantasy: Julius is shepherding a White woman out of the house:]
Julius: You got to get out of here, Ashley. And give me those flowers! Go, go, go, go, go!
[reality:]
Julius: I didn't do anything.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, finding a Black kid in Bed-Stuy was like trying to find a needle in a needle stack.
Woman: [o.s.] James? James, who that at the door?!
Chris: James?
James: Hey, Chris. What you doing here?
Chris: I'm looking for Cleavon Barris.
Woman: [o.s.] Close that door, you hear me?!
James: [closes door] What you know about Cleavon?
Chris: I'm supposed to be his Brother from Another Mother.
James: I used to know Cleavon, back in the day. See, Cleavon, he had some problems, but me, James, I ain't have those problems. You hear what I'm saying?
Chris: You're Cleavon?
James: Hey, keep it down, man. My mother must have signed me - I mean, Cleavon - up for it. But since I'm not Cleavon, I ain't doing it.
Chris: Well, the principal signed me up so I got to do it.
James: Well, that's between you and Cleavon. And don't come back around here looking for him no more.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's what Tupac does every time somebody finds him.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Just because James didn't want a Brother from Another Mother, didn't mean he wasn't going to get one.
Chris: James.
James: What you want?
Chris: Look, I know you don't want to do this any more than I do. But if we work together, we won't have to be anywhere near each other.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Worked for Shaq and Kobe.
James: So what you want me to do?
Chris: Well, if anybody asks, you just say we were with each other.
James: That's clever. I ain't know you had it in you. I thought you were a punk, a chump, a sissy, a mama's boy...
Chris: All right, all right. We got a deal?
James: Deal.

Monk: Hi, everybody. Hi, Youngju. [speaks Korean]
Youngju: [speaks Korean]
Monk: [speaks Korean]
Youngju: Oh. [speaks Korean] Monk.
Monk: I'll see you later.
Rochelle: More flowers. That's a coincidence.
Pam: What did he say?
Youngju: He said he was just trying to treat me the way he would want to be treated if he was dating himself.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The flowers are rigged with explosives.
Rochelle: No, no, no, no, no. That's one coincidence too many. Julius bought me flowers and said the same thing that they said to y'all. I don't know what's going on around here, but I guarantee you, I'm about to find out.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] When my mother got suspicious, she never asked what she wanted to know. She waited to see what you would tell.
Rochelle: What, no flowers today?
Julius: You know, I don't want to do the same thing every day.
Rochelle: Yeah, that's right, because if you were me, you wouldn't want them.
Julius: Huh?
Rochelle: Oh, that's what you said. It was very nice. Did you think of all of that by yourself?
Julius: Straight from the heart.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And right in the back.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my father was keeping Oprah from my mother, she was getting to every other man in town. From the guys who were white-collar...
Prisoner: Stop it, y'all, Oprah's on!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] ...to guys who got collared. Every man in town was watching Oprah.
Rochelle: I guess that's a coincidence, too.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile my father wasn't the only one trying to keep something undercover.
Mr. Perkins: Chris, just the man I want to see. How are things going with Cleavon?
Chris: Cleavon? Oh, yeah, great.
Mr. Perkins: What kinds of things have you been enjoying together?
Chris: A lot of stuff.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And the lying-through-your- teeth award goes to...
Chris: We worked on an art project the other day. [Jason spray-painting graffiti] We also spent some time with the disabled. [Jason robbing a blind man playing the saxophone] And later on today, we're going to go hang out with some neighborhood kids.
[flashback: James with a bully who's hanging a White kid off a balcony]
Kid: Don't drop me please! No, I'll pay, I swear! No, no, please! Let me go! Let me go, please! I'll pay! Please, don't drop me!
[present:]
Mr. Perkins: Well, that's great. We can discuss it more at your interview.
Chris: You want us here together?
Mr. Perkins: 3pm. See you tomorrow.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No, he won't.

Bodyguard: Then why are you looking for people then, man? What, you supposed to be a detective? You Spenser for Hire, Magnum PI?
Chris: No, I just need James to come with me to school tomorrow. It's for this Brother from Another Mother program. Wait. Didn't you used to be Wayne Gretzky's bodyguard?
Bodyguard: James pays better.
James: I thought we had an understanding.
Chris: We do. It's just that the organization checks up. They want to talk to both of us tomorrow in school.
James: Like I said next time you find me, you're gonna end up getting found.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] James was tough, but he was still 12.
Chris: Listen here, little boy, I ain't got time for this. You don't show up at school with me tomorrow, I'm gonna call your mother.
James: All right, man. Dag.

Drew: [rapping on answer machine] Yo, this is Master Drew and I'm not home So call me back on the telephone.