Julius: Rochelle, Chris and I need to talk for a minute.
Rochelle: You putting me out?
Julius: We need to have a man-to-man talk.
Rochelle: Okay, fine. Julius, the next time somebody comes to this house with a problem, I'm gonna send them directly to you. Is that okay? Huh? All right.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] So I figured the smartest thing to do was to just leave Tasha alone.
Tasha: Chris, come quick. I need you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] So much for that plan.
Louise Clarkson: Do you see it?! Chris, do you see it?!
Chris: Oh, yeah, I see it. But what do you want me to do with it?
Tasha: [screams; then Chris screams] Get it out! Get it out of my closet!
Chris: Okay, stop screaming please.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She's screaming like the mouse had a gun.

Julius: The paper said the catalog store's closing. We got to redeem all these by the weekend. If I have any stamps left, I'm going to get this.
Rochelle: What? An electric ping-pong table?
Julius: It keeps score automatically.
Rochelle: Now you know you're too big to be playing ping-pong.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I hadn't said that anything really happened between me and Tasha, but not saying anything was almost worse.
Tasha: Hey, Chris.
Chris: Hey, Tasha.
Boy: Hey, Tasha, how you doing?
Jerome: Man, you better leave her alone. Isn't that right, little dude?
Chris: Hey, well, you know.
Jerome: I know.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I wasn't saying a word about me and Tasha, and yet, it was all over Bed-Stuy.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The story was taking off, and for the first time I was trying to play it down.
Greg: You kissed Tasha?
Chris: Well, technically, she kissed me. And it wasn't a "kiss" kiss. She just kissed me on the cheek.
Greg: Which cheek?
Chris: This one.
Greg: When did all this happen?
Chris: Yesterday. She was scared of a mouse and I went in to go get it for her. Then she gave me a quick peck.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I was saying that, but I knew Greg was thinking this... [clip of Eddie Murphy kissing a woman in Boomerang]

Greg: Wow, you are in there.
Chris: Hey, well, you know.
Greg: No, I really don't know.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Greg didn't even have a vicarious thrill till he was 22.
Chris: Just do me a favor: don't tell anybody.
Greg: Who would I tell?

Adult Chris: [v.o.] He would tell everybody.
Pair of Girls #1: Hey, Chris.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And I mean everybody.
Pair of Girls #2: Hi, Chris.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even Caruso gave me some respect.
Joey Caruso: Hey, Lakeside, I didn't know you had it in you.
Ms. Morello: Well, aren't you just a little Sweet Sweetback.
Chris: Hey, well, you know.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Who knew that the secret for a guy getting girls if for a guy to get a girl!

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was getting more attention than I can handle, Drew wasn't getting any at all.
Drew: Hey, Mom, could you help me with my homework?
Rochelle: Oh, baby, I'm tired. I got to sort clothes and do laundry. Can't Chris help you when he gets home?
Drew: I guess.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew hadn't looked that sad since E.T. went home.

Chris: What's this?
Diedra: My phone number.
Chris: So I can call you?
Diedra: Yeah. You know, I heard about you and Tasha.
Chris: Hey, well, you know. [Doc clears his throat]
Tasha: Hey, well, you know what?
Chris: Hi, Tasha.
Tasha: Don't "Hi, Tasha" me. Hey, well, you know what? What were you gonna say about me, Chris? You have something to say, say it to my face.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I want my mama!

Rochelle: [sighs] Chris, please tell me. Is that all that really happened? 'Cause Miss Clarkson seems to think that you were doing more than just getting rid of a mouse, boy.
Chris: Well, after we went outside, she gave me a kiss on the cheek, and Jerome saw and, next thing I know, it's all over the neighborhood.
Julius: And you had nothing to do with spreading that?
Chris: Hey, well, you know.
Julius: "Hey, well, you know"?
Rochelle: Well, what is that supposed to mean?