Pam: Girl, little Tasha who just moved in?
Vanessa: That's right. You know what else I heard? I heard she and Chris were right outside on the street kissing.
Pam: Ooh, girl, was it tongue kissing?
Rochelle: Right down to the throat.
Pam: Ooh, I didn't know she was like that.
Vanessa: You wasn't supposed to know.
Pam: Hmm.

Boy: Man, I heard Tasha caught Chris cheating with Valerie Simpson. Nick Ashford gonna kill him.
Kill Moves: [karate chop] Hi-i-i-i-i-i. Notice how Nick Ashford and Verdine White look just alike?
Boy: Verdine White from the liquor store, or Verdine White from Earth, Wind and Fire?
Kill Moves: It's the same guy.
Boy: What?

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Tasha Clarkson was the new girl next door. Unlike just about every other girl in the neighborhood, she didn't hate me.
Tasha: Hi, Chris.
Chris: Hey, Tasha.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I always tried to play cool around her, but every time she came out the door, it looked like this... [footage of Tyra Banks on the catwalk] But Tasha's grandmother was one of the strictest parents on the block.
Louise Clarkson: Where you going dressed like that?
Tasha: Grandma, I have on everything but gloves.
Louise Clarkson: Put some gloves on. Showing your hands to people.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And it was 79 degrees.

Jerome: Little dude from across the street. Come here.
Chris: Listen, man, I don't have any money.
Jerome: I don't want your money, little dude. I want to know how you got Tasha.
Chris: Got Tasha what?
Jerome: Come on, little dude. I saw that. Every little dude on the block been trying to get next to her. Little dude from up on the third floor, little dude from around the corner, little dude with the funny leg, little dude with the little loft, little dude that be with big dude and Kenny. Now I know why they can't get nowhere. 'Cause little dude from across the street is on the case. Now why you ain't tell nobody?
Chris: Hey, well, you know.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's what you said when you didn't want to lie, but you didn't want to tell the truth.
Jerome: I underestimated you, little dude. I ain't think you had it in you. Tasha. Mean as her grandmom is. You a bad man, little dude.
Chris: Just do me a favor. Don't tell anybody?
Jerome: It's between me and you. [chuckles] Little dude from across the street. Mackin'.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I should have told him the truth that nothing happened, but, hey, well, you know.

Risky: Not only Chris have Tasha, but he got three other women.
Mr. Omar: Hey, ain't nothing wrong with that. The Good Book says "Be fruitful and prosper."
Risky: Yes, Lord.
Mr. Omar: Got any ashes in this?
Risky: No.

Rochelle: Hello, Louise. How you doing?
Louise Clarkson: You keep your nasty little nappy-headed son away from my granddaughter. That's how I'm doing.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That look means all seven of the words you can't say on television. Because this is a family show, all she can say is this...
Rochelle: Excuse me?
Louise Clarkson: Let me slow it down for you. Keep your nasty little nappy-headed son away from my granddaughter.
Rochelle: Okay, Louise, first of all, I don't know what you're talking about. Second of all, I suggest you watch your tone.
Louise Clarkson: I suggest you watch your son.
Rochelle: Louise, I'm going to assume that you have not lost your mind.
Louise Clarkson: All right.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] There's less anger in the Middle East.

Rochelle: So exactly what is it that you're talking about?
Louise Clarkson: Your son was in my house with my granddaughter when I wasn't home. And then went around the neighborhood and talked about her like she was some kind of tramp.
Rochelle: Chris?
Louise Clarkson: No, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Yes, Chris. I don't know how he wormed himself into my house, but I'll tell you this... if it happens again, there's going to be a problem.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] "Problem" is a polite word for ass-kicking.

Rochelle: Miss Clarkson said that Chris was in her house with Tasha.
Julius: Doing what?
Chris: Nothing. She asked me to come over because there was a mouse in her closet. I got rid of it, and then we went right back outside.
Rochelle: Getting rid of a mouse? Is that what they're calling it nowadays?
Julius: Are you an exterminator? If you are, let me see your paycheck.
Chris: No.
Rochelle: Chris, I don't care if you were over somebody's house getting rid of a mouse, a spider, a roach, a tiger...
Chris: I was just trying to help.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother had to find out what was up before she had to smack Drew down.
Rochelle: Something you want to talk about?
Drew: Why do you pay more attention to Chris and Tonya than you do me?
Rochelle: I don't do it on purpose, baby.
Drew: Well, then, how come every time I ask you to do something, you always make me do it by myself?
Rochelle: Well, because you've always been able to do things on your own. Doesn't mean I love you any less.
Drew: Sometimes it feels like it.
Rochelle: Oh, don't say that, Drew. I'm proud of you. I guess I don't see you as being my baby anymore.
Drew: You don't?
Rochelle: Uh-uh. I look at you as a young man, because you're so independent.
Drew: I'm independent?
Rochelle: And you're funny. You're handsome.
Drew: Oh, cool.
Rochelle: So you going to be okay?
Drew: Yeah.
Rochelle: I'm sorry, Drew. I love you.
Drew: I love you, too.
Rochelle: Good. Come on, let's make some Kool-Aid. Oh, and another thing. If you ever walk away from me like that again, you going to need a wheelchair to bring you back. Okay?

Julius: I'm here to redeem my stamps.
Cashier: What would you like?
Rochelle: The olive green refrigerator.
Cashier: We're out of those.
Julius: You have one in yellow?
Cashier: No. We're out of the refrigerators.
Rochelle: Well, what about the stove?
Cashier: Gone.
Julius: The sofa?
Cashier: Nuh-uh.
Julius: Washing machine?
Cashier: Nope.
Chris: Electric ping-pong table?
Cashier: Nada.
Tonya: Mini-Bake Oven?
Cashier: Zilch.
Drew: The golden boomerang?
Cashier: The bishop just walked out with the last one.