Aunt Sarah: You didn't have to dress for dinner, Mary.
Mary: I'm not having dinner, Sarah.
Aunt Sarah: Why not?
Mary: Well, firstly, because I value my life, and, secondly, I'm heading out.

Clare: He wrote something. There was a note. She put it on the shelf.
Erin: It's an address.
Michelle: [gasps] Do you think it's his address? [gasps] Do you think your ma's meeting him there? [gasps] Do you think that's where they're going to do the deed? By "do the deed" I mean ride.
James: Yes, thank you, Michelle.

Erin: I have to get to the bottom of this.
Clare: That's halfway up Pump Street.
Michelle: James can drive now.
Erin: He doesn't have a car.
Michelle: Your da does.
Erin: He'd never let us borrow it.
Michelle: He wouldn't have to know.
James: Absolutely not!
[later, as a car slowly moves up the street:]
Michelle: Couldn't he speed up a wee bit?
James: No, I couldn't!
Clare: Are we even moving?
James: I simply will not negotiate when it comes to road safety.

Michelle: Christ, that's some gaff.
James: I think plumbers do all right, you know.

Father Peter: What you need to do is bring it a bit more downstage. No, no - downstage? No, no - downstage! How many times? Downstage is up, upstage is down.
Mrs. Mooney: But that doesn't make any sense.
Father Peter: It's theatre. It's not supposed to make sense. I need to speak to the stage manager.
Sister Michael: What now?
Father Peter: OK, now... With the smoke machine, when the contestants come out, really go for it. Don't be shy. Give it a good blast.
Sister Michael: I'll give you a kick up the arse.

Mary: Four, please.
Mrs. Mooney: No bother at all.
Sister Michael: Once you've bought the tickets, you've donated to the charity. You don't actually have to sit through this ordeal.
Mary: Our girls are performing.
Sister Michael: And?
Mary: Well, we'd like to see them.
Sister Michael: Oh.
Father Peter: [over walkie-talkie] Sister Michael, you're needed backstage ASAP, over.
Sister Michael: Sorry, just let me deal with this. [throws walkie-talkie in the bin] Ahem.

Michelle: God, I would just like to take this opportunity to thank you for our friendship, and for the fact that this costume makes my rack look so, so cracker.
Orla: Amen.

Father Peter: Please welcome to the stage, Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James. The act you're going to perform for us tonight, well, they're absolutely huge.
Michelle: That's right, Peter.
Father Peter: Matthew.
Michelle: Matthew! Shit! I got it right in rehearsal, I just...
Father Peter: It doesn't matter.
Michelle: No, I fucked it.

Father Peter: OK. Give us some clues, girls.
Orla: Well, Peter... They are English, but we still like them.
Clare: They're also probably better known by their nicknames.
Father Peter: Which are? And I think this just might give it away now.
Erin: Ginger! Baby! Sporty! Scary and Posh!
All: Tonight, Matthew, we're gonna be The Spice Girls!

Mary: Erin, love, what's wrong?
Erin: Oh, don't you "Erin, love" me!
Mary: I'm sorry? I know what you've been up to.
Aunt Sarah: Our secret lottery numbers, Mary.
Gerry: You do secret lottery numbers?