Gerry: I thought I'd nip back before Mary gets out of work and give the place a bit of a going over.
Aunt Sarah: She didn't go to work.
Gerry: What?
Aunt Sarah: I don't know what's going on with her, Gerry, but I'm worried. She's banging on about feminism. She's talking about joining the Women's Coalition.
Gerry: Oh, Jesus!

Aunt Sarah: I've said she doesn't need to worry about dinner. I'm cooking tonight... as soon as I've defrosted this thing. [aims hair dryer at frozen chicken]
Gerry: Fantastic.

Joe: Christ, but you're a fine looking specimen.
Gabriel: Thank you.

Aunt Sarah: [holding a box of Gravy Granules] Christ, you'd need an A-level in chemistry to decipher these instructions.

Mary: I'll take Gabriel up a cup of tea.
Gerry: I think he's probably grand, seeing as it's only about 60 seconds since you brought him up the last one.
Joe: He's such a civil fella, isn't he?
Gerry: Oh, he's great altogether.
Joe: You could have bagged yourself a man like that, love.
Mary: Wise up, Daddy. Hardly.
Joe: It's true. Never understand why you settled for thon thing.

Mary: Ach, I wouldn't be interested in a man like Gabriel, Daddy.
Gerry: Thank you, love.
Mary: You'd be tortured, you'd be getting the women off.
Aunt Sarah: Aye, true enough. At least, with Gerry, you've none of that worry.
Gerry: Excuse me?
Mary: It's not just the looks thing. He's really bright, too. That'd be intimidating, you know.
Aunt Sarah: If you're that hot, you should at least have the common decency to be a bit thick.
Mary: If I was with someone too clever, I'd feel all out of my depth.

Mary: You'll take a cup of tea before you go?
Gerry: I'm sure the man has places to be, Mary.
Gabriel: Ah, if you're making one.
Aunt Sarah: Mary tells us you've just moved here, Gabriel.
Gabriel: Yeah, that's right. I'm from Kildare originally.
Joe: Very sorry to hear that, son.
Gabriel: Thank you.

Gabriel: Yeah, me and the wife, well, we separated recently.
Aunt Sarah: God, that's terrible, so it is.
Gabriel: I say separated. The truth is she ran off with my friend.
Aunt Sarah: Jesus, what must the friend look like?

Erin: The girls are gonna stay over tonight because we need to rehearse because Jenny Joyce is such a... [sees Gabriel] Oh-ho-ho-ho.
Michelle: Fuck me sideways.
Mary: Language, Michelle.
Michelle: Ach, Mary, come on, that's ridiculous.
Mary: Even so.

Michelle: How many times do I have to fucking explain it? It is two steps forward, two steps back. It couldn't be any fucking simpler. What the fuck is wrong with you all?
James: You're the one that's out of time.
Michelle: Say that again, James, and I will floor you. I will lay you out.
Erin: I think the first bit is pretty good.
Michelle: The first bit's shite, Erin. You look like you're being electrocuted, and what the fuck do you think you're doing, Clare, the Haka? [Clare walks out] Fuck!