Norm: Cliff.
Cliff: Yeah?
Norm: Remember when, uh, you asked me to tell you if you were going off the deep end?
Cliff: Yeah.
Norm: Well, don't come up too fast, buddy, you'll get the bends.

Lilith: You look wonderful, Rebecca.
Rebecca: Thank you.
Carla: Can you breathe in that thing?
Rebecca: I'm a little constricted.
Lilith: Perhaps it's the tight collar.
Rebecca: Or the ace bandage strapped around my breasts.
Lilith: Well, they interfered with the line of your jacket.
Rebecca: What do you think, Carla?
Carla: Well, turn around. [Rebecca turns around] Bind her butt, too.

Woody: Sam, can you help me to get my hair to do what yours always does.
Sam: Sure, I don't think that'd be a problem there, Woody. Okay. [dryer whirs] Now, you don't know what your PH level is, do you?

Woody: Oh, hi, Mr. Gaines.
Mr. Gaines: Woody, now that you're dating my daughter, I suppose we should take some time to be a little more friendly. Therefore, I'd like to invite you to Kelly's birthday party this Friday.
Woody: Oh, thanks, but you didn't have to come all the way down here and tell me in person.
Mr. Gaines: Well, I keep thinking if we spend more time together, see each other face to face, I'll learn what the attraction is for my daughter. [looks at Woody] Nope.
Woody: I'm an enigma.

Sam: Woody, I think Kelly might be used to gifts a little bit more expensive.
Woody: Well, then why did the father invite me? He knows I can't afford anything ritzy.
Carla: Well, maybe that's his plan, Woody. Maybe he wants to humiliate you in front of Kelly's friends, so she'll be too embarrassed to date you anymore.
Woody: Maybe I won't even go. Maybe I'll just stay home this weekend and work on my hair. Sam?
Sam: Yeah. I could help you out. You know, you got a wave there that's just going to waste.
Frasier: Say, Woody, Woody. Before Mr. Jacques combs you out could you come here?

Woody: Wow, Kelly, that's beautiful.
Kelly: Come on, Uncle Val, I know you. What's the gag?
Uncle Val: Look inside.
Kelly: Yeah, a new Mercedes! Thank you.
Mr. Gaines: Well, that looks like that's it. What say we all go outside and have a look at some of Kelly's new cars?

Woody: I just never expected this from Kelly. I'm really mad at her. She's just a rich... A rich... I'd like to call her a nasty name, but I can't think of anything that rhymes with rich.

Carla: Where's Rebecca?
Lilith: In changing. I'm helping her remake her image. We're planning to crash the power lunch going on right now at Melville's, to show those executives what a real, no-nonsense businesswoman looks like.
Carla: What does she look like?
Rebecca: Miss Howe?
[Rebecca walks out with her hair in a tight bun, wearing a dark suit and pale blue shirt with a raised collar]
Carla: Oh, a man.

Rebecca: Carla, stop interrupting. Lilith is trying to teach me how to be a hard-ass businesswoman.
Carla: The pretzel man wants to see you.
Rebecca: You talk to him. He scares me.

Man: Oh, this is delicious.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah? Not too chalky?
Man: No, I really like the unusual aftertaste.
Cliff: Yeah, that'll stay with you for a couple of days. Now listen up down there. This fine gentleman can teach you something.
Man: You know, I plan to tell the people back where I work about these.
Cliff: Oh, hey, hear that?
Man: And I should know something on the subject, as I not only have a degree in agriculture, but I'm also a graduate of the Cordon Bleu.
Cliff: The man is an expert.
Man: I'm also an astronaut.
Cliff: Wow.
Man: Next week I'm going to be the Queen of Spain.
Cliff: Hey, uh, Fras, could you use another patient?
Frasier: Oh, Cliff, you're harmless.