Woody: Don't you understand?
Kelly: I'm trying, Woody.
Woody: There are some gifts you can't put in a box or hold in your hand. Kelly, the song was my gift.
Kelly: Oh, I get it, the song is a riddle, right? And if I can figure it out it'll tell me where you've hidden my gift.

Sam: Well, I'm sorry, man. But what were you supposed to do? You know, run out and empty your savings, hock everything you own, spend every penny you ever earned just to buy her a silly little piece of jewelry?
Woody: Sam, that's a great idea.
Sam: No, Woody.
Woody: And I always thought I was the smart one.

Sam: How'd it go?
Lilith: Well, not bad. If I choose to accept their offer, you're looking at the new vice president in charge of the Eastern Seaboard.

Kelly: [sings] Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly Kelly, Kelly, Kelly
Woody: Hi, Kelly. Happy birthday.
Kelly: I thought you never wanted to see me again.
Woody: Oh, that was just a joke. You know my crazy Dutch humor. Here.
Kelly: Oh, Woody, you didn't have to. Oh, it's a pendant. It's a little opal surrounded by sand.
Woody: Those are crushed diamonds.
Kelly: I like it. Where's the chain?
Woody: Well, I'll have that for you in another 18 easy payments.

Woody: You see, I just wanted to give you something that nobody else could, and I know I couldn't compete with your friends when it came to expensive stuff, so I tried that dorky song.
Kelly: It was pretty.
Woody: The tune or the words?
Kelly: The words especially.
Woody: Good, 'cause I sort of ripped off the tune.

Norm: So, Woods, what did Mr. Big want to talk to you about? He still sweating you out about seeing his daughter?
Carla: I bet he offered you a couple of thou to keep your mitts off the airhead to the throne.
Norm: Don't you do it, Woody. Money is no substitute for the love of a good woman. Now real estate, especially in today's market...