Carla: So what'll you have?
Woman #1: I'll have a cup of tea.
Woman #2: And I'll have a small sherry.
Woman #1: Now, that sounds nice. Sherry sounds very nice. And it is late afternoon. I think I'll have a glass of sherry too, please.
Carla: Two sherries.
Woman #1: Um, make that a glass of wine. White wine.
Woman #2: Wine. I haven't had a glass of wine in ages. Is your wine dry?
Carla: Yeah, it's OK.
Woman #2: Give me some wine, too.
Carla: Two wines.
Woman #1: You know what sounds like fun to me all of a sudden?
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: A beer. I haven't had a beer since I don't know when.
Woman #2: I used to have half a beer on a hot day.
Woman #1: Well, it's quite cold out today.
Woman #2: Then put a shot of whisky with it and it's perfect.
Woman #1: Two boilermakers. Wild Turkey and Bud.
Carla: I'll run a tab.
Woman #1: Good.

Carla: What are you doing here? It's your day off.
Diane: I just felt I needed to be in a place where I had a few friends today.
Carla: So that's your next stop?

Coach: So, tell me, how are you doing?
Diane: Not very well.
Coach: Well, what is it?
Diane: It's Derek.
Coach: What about him?
Diane: He's flying to Paris today, and he wants me to go with him. He's a charming man, Coach. He's everything I've been looking for. And I think he's interested in me, too.
Coach: Gee, what a lousy break. Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute, Diane. Maybe it's good.
Diane: Oh, it is good.
Coach: I'll tell you why. The second I looked at you and Derek, I said, "Now, there goes a cute couple." Yeah.
Diane: What about Sam?
Coach: Well, Sam and Derek are a little cuter, yeah.

Sam: Hi, Diane.
Diane: Sam, your brother Derek has asked me to go to Europe with him, so I've come to say goodbye.
Sam: Dammit. I didn't need to hear that.
Diane: What's wrong?
Sam: Well, it's too late to put a help-want ad in tomorrow's paper.

Diane: This is it, everyone. I bid you a fond farewell. I've enjoyed knowing you all of you. You've brought a lot to my life.
All: Bye.
[Diane turns away from the door and walks back towards Sam's office before turning around once more]
Diane: Goodbye, everyone.
All: Bye.
[again]
Diane: Farewell.
Carla: Would you get the hell outta here.
All: Go!
Diane: I won't let it end this way.
Carla: I've had warts that went away quicker.

Sam: Ow!
Diane: What did I hit?
Sam: [nasally] My nose. You're supposed to knock.
Diane: You were coming out to say something to me, weren't you? What is it?
Sam: I wasn't gonna say anything.
Diane: Yes, you were. What was it?
Sam: Go to the airport.
Diane: Say it.
Sam: No.

Sam: That's the blackboard from the pool room. What are you doing with that?
Diane: Tell me what you were gonna say or...
Sam: No, don't do that. I hate that. [Diane runs her nails across the chalkboard] I hate that. Please stop. Would you just stop? Put that down. Please. All right, please don't go.
Diane: Ask me nice.
Sam: Oh, come on, would you?
Diane: I mean it. I deserve that much. Ask me nice.
Sam: All right, just put it down. Put the blackboard down. Put it down. Please stay.
Diane: Why should l?
Sam: Go on, get out. Get out.

Diane: This is the dumbest conversation we have ever had, which means it's the dumbest conversation that's ever been.
Sam: Maybe this whole thing is just a mistake, huh?
Diane: What thing?
Sam: Well, this whole thing we're trying to do here. I mean, every time we try to get together, something goes wrong. Look, look. Just cos I'm a neat-looking guy and you're kinda hungry at the moment...
Diane: Hungry?
Sam: No, no, don't. No, listen. What I mean by that is you've been here a long time. Now, if something was just naturally gonna happen, it would have happened by now. It's silly of us to try to make it happen.
Diane: Oh, fine. You tell me this now that I've let Derek go.
Sam: Don't throw Derek in my face. Now, you never cared for Derek. You just used him to trap me.

Diane: All right, so I can't do it. Silence is overrated anyway. At least I have something to say.
Sam: Meaning I don't?
Diane: The last conversation I had with Derek... [Sam groans]... was about walking on the moors like Heathcliff and Catherine, and I threw it all away for this.