Norm: Okay, at the beginning of that cartoon, Casper, the friendly ghost, had no friends whatsoever. By the end of the cartoon, of course, he's surrounded by friends. Next cartoon will start, Casper won't have any friends again. What is it we're not seeing between cartoons?
Cliff: Could be, uh, Casper sating his thirst for human blood.
Norm: Right.
Cliff: Oh, think about it, Norm. We are talking about a ghost here.
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: You see, very often, the, uh, walking dead crave the taste of human flesh. And things aren't that much different in the cartoon world, I'm sure.
Norm: Was it really hot on your route today, Cliff?
Cliff: Yeah, yeah. Oh, blacked out a couple of times. Why?

Sam: That was Woody. He's in a car on the way back from the airport.
Cliff: Isn't that something? Two weeks free in London. All expenses paid on Kelly's family. Boy, he really stepped into something nice there. I'll tell you what, though. He's lucky I didn't spot her first.
Norm: Yeah, he really dodged a bullet there, Cliff.

Frasier: Everyone, I have an announcement to make. You may not have noticed, but over the last year, I've allowed myself to gradually fall out of shape. I'm frequently tired, and I find I no longer have the energy for some of my daily activities.
Lilith: Or some of your weekly ones.
Frasier: Which is why Richard here is going to put me on a strict exercise and diet regimen. Now you may ask, "Why is Frasier sharing this information with the general public?"
Carla: Because you're the loneliest man on earth?
Lilith: He has another reason.
Frasier: Yes. I want you all to hold me accountable, to be my collective conscience, if you will. Don't let me give up.

Sam: I was a professional athlete. I can train you like he can, and I'd do it for free. Besides, I'll, uh, keep my chest off your wife's hand.
Frasier: You're history, Bluto!
Man: Hey, your loss.
Lilith: We have an opening for a lab assistant! Well, it's grant money. We have to spend it somehow.

Sam: Hey, Woody, can't you, uh, hang around and tell us about your trip?
Woody: Love to, can't.
Sam: Love to, can't?
Woody: Right. Uh, coming over on the Concorde, we met this adorable couple, David and Arlene, and we promised to spend the afternoon with them.
Sam: Oh, well, all right. All right, well, you can tell us all about it when you come to work tonight, all right?
Woody: Ooh, about that.
Sam: Don't tell me. Love to, can't?
Woody: Bingo. Ta, guys.

Sam: Why don't you give me one more abdominal crunch?
Frasier: No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!
Sam: Come on, man, give me one more, unless you want to give me five more. Okay. Come on, you can do it.
Okay. Come on. Okay. There we go. And up! Come on.
Frasier: [grunts] Can you see the baby's head yet?

Woody: [enters] Evening, chums!
Sam: I thought you were having drinks with David and Arlene.
Woody: Good people, Sam, but colossal bores. So it turns out I can work.
Sam: Well, thanks for, uh, keeping us in mind here, Woody. Tell you what, why don't you, uh, help out by getting a couple of cases of scotch from the back?
Woody: [chuckles] Whoa! Do I look like I'm dressed to carry scotch?
Sam: Oh, well, what are you dressed for?
Woody: Well, certainly not whatever you're dressed for.

Kelly: Woody! Aren't you ever coming out of there? You're starting to scare me.
Woody: [opens door] Sorry, Kelly. I'm not trying to scare you, but it it's just, your money is turning me into a monster. All my old friends hate me now. [closes door]
Kelly: But everything was going so well. What happened?
Woody: [opens door] I just looked into a mirror, and I didn't like what I saw. [closes door]
Kelly: Whatever's wrong, we can work it out.
Woody: [opens door] It's a little more complicated than that, Kelly. [closes door]
Sam: It's like she's having a fight with Señor Wences.
Woody: [opens door] Come on in, Kelly.
Kelly: Thank you.
Norm: You know, Sammy, you could nail that door shut right now. I didn't see a thing.

Kelly: Wow. What a big moose head.
Woody: Kelly, I don't think this is the time for name-calling.
Kelly: What's wrong, Woody?
Woody: Don't you see, I'm trying so hard to fit into your world that I'm starting to lose mine.
Kelly: Yeah so?
Woody: The point is, I'm changing. Suddenly, Mr. Peterson and Mr. Clavin aren't that interesting. It can't be them, so it must be me.

Sam: Hey, Fras? I've got the tools of a perfect workout right here. Jump rope, bag of doughnuts. Guess which one's yours.
Frasier: Didn't I tell you? I- I don't need to work out today. I think I've reached my peak form, isn't that great?
Sam: Yeah. Okay, get in the pool room. We've got work to do.
Frasier: You weren't listening, I don't need any I'm all better!
Sam: Come on, pool room.