Eric: You'd love it if we didn't go to that concert, wouldn't you? Yeah, nice try, dad. Heather and I are going to that concert. We're going to be there sixty-four rows behind you, breathing down your neck.

Eric: You're my parents, you're not supposed to have any fun. You're supposed to sit here and wait for me to get home.

Cory: You got to take a big risk. I know about this.
Eric: Oh you do? Well, I'm always eager to get romantic advice from a foetus.

Eric: I'm too cute to stay home.

Eric: That's right. This year I might be Class Victorian.

Alan: We're having a baby.
Eric: They're having a baby. I'm going to be an uncle!

Eric: So, in conclusion: Watches. Chocolate. Cheese. Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you the Swiss.

Eric: Now I'm gonna call Saint Mary's and have them put Tommy on hold or on lay-away, or whatever.

Eric: I come to you with my hat in my hand.
Cory: It's my hat.
Eric: It's my hand.

Eric: Hey look, a penny.
Jack: Was it heads up?
Eric: Is that the side with the head on it?