Maeby: What are you doing? Is this what you're wearing?
Lindsay: My father's dead, Maeby.
Maeby: Yeah, but you're not, and Ice is right there.
Narrator: Maeby knew that if she could get her mother to have an affair, she could emancipate.
Maeby: All Pop-Pop ever wanted was to see you with another man besides Daddy.
Lindsay: You're right. You know what? I'm gonna throw on a skirt, take off my underwear and make your Pop-Pop proud.
Maeby: Wait a minute. Let me ask Barry. That might be enough right there.

George Sr.: Is Oscar wearing my suit? Hey, you tell my brother you don't wear a dead man's pants. Shame on him. And you say that to him. You say, "Shame on you."
George Michael: Okay.
George Sr.: Say it to me like you're gonna say it to him.
George Michael: I'm probably not gonna say it to him.
George Sr.: Okay.

Narrator: And so the family gathered to remember George Sr.
Michael: If anyone would like to say anything about Dad now's the time. Anyone. Anyone? Perhaps my son George Michael would like to say something. Huh? Wanna share your feelings?
George Michael: Eh?
Michael: It's okay to cry, pal. It's okay.
George Michael: Yeah? Wow. He's really gone. But, you know, I think that if... he was here right now I would probably tell him that it all worked out and that, um... I'll be bringing you some salmon rolls right away in... heaven.
George Sr.: [in the attic] How many times I gotta tell this kid chicken wings?

Narrator: And finally, Michael got up to speak.
Michael: I had a very complicated relationship with my father. [blender whirrs] Ice, can we- Can we just cool it on the smoothies for right now?
George Sr.: [in the attic] There are smoothies?
Michael: I could never trust my father. But I always want my son to be able to trust me, so from now on we're always gonna be honest with each other. Okay? 'Cause there's nobody I love more than you in this whole world.
Gob: Michael, listen, can we move the eulogy outside so I can time being lowered into Dad's grave with your big finish?
Michael: I'm done.
Gob: Wow. That was your eulogy? Glad Dad wasn't around to see that.

Gob: The speeches we heard today are nothing more than words. But I will prove that I love my father more than anybody.
[Gob and Buster dance to Europe's "The Final Countdown"]
Gob: Buster! [whispers] Stop it! As you can see, this is a normal coffin. [climbs in] Take me halfway around. [stands up] I will become my dead father's body as I am lowered into his grave. All right. Spin it back around.
Buster: Dead father? Is he de- Dad's dead?
Gob: Just keep it together, Buster, and spin this back around.
Buster: Oh, my God! The card! The card!
[As Buster panics and runs away, Gob slips out of the trap door into the open grave. The coffin then falls on top of him.]
Gob: Something's gone wrong.
[The digger dumps dirt on top the coffin as the audience applaud]

Narrator: Michael then headed down to the frozen banana stand where his son was supposed to be working.
Ann: It just seems like every time we wanna be together, your father comes along-
Michael: Hey, guys. What's going on? Why's the banana stand closed?
George Michael: Oh, Ann came to see me, so I thought I'd take a little break. Can we talk about this later?
Michael: Sure. No problem. Just, let's keep the phone on. Okay, pal? Great. [to Ann] Hey, you.
Ann: See? That's a perfect example of how your father's always interrup- [phone rings]

George Michael: I'm sorry. [answers phone] Hello.
Michael: Hey, buddy. They found your grandfather. That's what I wanted to tell you.
George Michael: That's great.
Michael: I didn't wanna say that when you were talking to Egg.
George Michael: I'm actually still talking with Ann.
Michael: Oh, she's still goin'? Listen, I'll talk to you later. I'm very excited.
George Michael: That's good. [hangs up]
Ann: I think we should break up.
George Michael: [wails]

Narrator: The bounty hunter, meanwhile was eager to impress the family attorney.
Barry: I cannot believe that you made these.
Narrator: Indeed, Ice had always bounty-hunted to support his first love: party-planning. And Lindsay was still hoping to score a date with him.
Lindsay: I don't suppose you'd be interested in catering an affair with me.
Ice: Well, when you get a full guest list, let me know.
Lindsay: Why can't I do this anymore?

Maeby: We have to have a wake.
Narrator: Maeby was upset, but saw a chance to fix up her mother.
Maeby: I don't know, maybe we could get Ice to cater it or something. I don't know what I'm saying!

Lucille: What are you doing home?
Buster: The army had half a day. Are you guys planning a party?
Oscar: Yes. It's your father's birthday, which, coincidentally, is... my birthday.
Buster: Because you're twins. [chuckles] Well, I've got some shopping to do.