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Top Abbott Elementary Quotes

Quote from Barbara in Zoo Balloon

Barbara: [to camera] I have been through this many times before. [Gregory and Janine shouting "Kenny!"] The worst was 2005. A child by the name of August got lost in The Hershey Factory, looking for a chocolate river. Mnh!

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Quote from Gregory in Step Class

Jacob: Gregory, you never told us your favorite pizza place.
Gregory: Oh, I should sit this one out. I'm more of a Baltimore-style pizza guy.
Barbara: Ooh, Baltimore pizza. I've never heard about that. What makes it so different?
Gregory: You never heard of Baltimore style? Oh, it's... It's great. It's, um, really crunchy... and, like, wet.
Melissa: Wet?
Gregory: Yeah, yeah. No, it's... it's... It's, um... it's great. Next time you're there, go to, um... Say Cheese. Say Cheese Pizza. It's... They soak it. It's, like, sopping. It's... mmm. I gotta go talk to a child about a little thing.

Quote from Mr. Johnson in Zoo Balloon

Mr. Johnson: [aside to camera] I love field trips. I get to do Mr. Johnson's Day Off. That's when I watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which is a movie about a depressed kid who murder his father's Ferrari.
[Ava takes a group of kids to Mr. Johnson's custodial closet:]
Ava: Mr. Johnson, sorry to interrupt whatever this is, but these kids need to stay with you.
Mr. Johnson: Well, looks like Ava switched this day from Ferris Bueller's Day Off to The Breakfast Club. Life moves pretty fast, and if you don't stop every once in a while to take a look, you might...
Ava: Missed one. [chuckles]
Mr. Johnson: Come on in.

Quote from Melissa in Ava vs. Superintendent

Melissa: So, our girl really did a good job, huh?
Superintendent Collins: Surprisingly, yes.
Janine: Ooh! So we get the funding we need?
Superintendent Collins: No, of course not. As long as Ava's at Abbott and I'm the superintendent, you never will. She blackmailed me. It's kind of hard to get over being blackmailed.
Melissa: You know, he's not wrong. I haven't spoken to my blackmailer in two years. Do I miss my sister? Yeah, every day.

Quote from Barbara in Ava vs. Superintendent

Barbara: Well, my suggestion to all of you is to enjoy your free periods while you can. Because music class will be going bye-bye-bye like Blackstreet Boyz II Men.
Janine: Mm, mnh, no. Wrong in like three ways.