Janine: And I am gonna talk to every parent I see and tell them what Legendary is up to. When they find out, they are going to storm the gates...
Melissa: Mm.
Janine: ...of the school board. If they have gates there.
Barbara: Wait. We can hardly get parents to come to the Open House. I don't think you're gonna get that many at drop off.
Janine: Oh, no, I'm very good at canvassing. People always open the door for me 'cause they think I'm a lost child.

Janine: Oh, hey! You're the mom with the bi-
Krystal: Mm.
Janine: You're Krystal, right?
Krystal: Yep. Oh, cute look.
Janine: Thank you.
Krystal: You should let me hook you up with my brand. We just released our line of extra-petite bitch.
Janine: Okay. Thank you.

Janine: Listen, I'm trying to spread the word about Draemond Winding and Legendary Charter-
Krystal: Oh, let me stop you right there. I read about that on Facebook. Look, I'm all for keeping the schools public. What do you need?
Janine: Wow, that was so easy. [chuckles] Man, I had a whole presentation prepared, and if that didn't work, begging.
Krystal: Well, keep me updated. Look, take my e-mail...
Janine: Okay.
Krystal: It's S-L-U...
Janine: Oh, you know what? Actually, I can get it from Venus, 'cause I'm sure she has it.

Janine: Alright. You guys are killing it, truly. So, what is the capital of Alaska? Tasia.
Tasia: Juneau.
Janine: That's right - Juneau, which is also a very funny movie. [chuckles]

Janine: Well, I, for one, can't wait because I'm going on a girl trip.
Melissa: You mean girls' trip?
Janine: No, girl trip, singular. I saved enough money to take myself to Ocean City.
Melissa: Jersey?
Janine: Maryland.
All: Ooh.
Barbara: So you're going on a trip by yourself?
Janine: Yep, just me and the stamps on my passport... metaphorically. I don't have one of those.

Janine: And before you start making fun of sad, little, no-friends Janine...
Barbara: It's wonderful, sweetheart.
Ava: Yeah, Janine, don't make fun of yourself. It makes it less fun for me when I do it. Okay, solo vacation.
Melissa: Hey, only solo vacation I ever took was when they sequestered the jury I was on. So good for you.
Janine: Okay, the support is supporting. I feel like I really need this.
Jacob: Go ahead, tell them what's on the independence docket.
Janine: Okay, so I'm going to the Princess Royale, which is a three-star hotel. But it has the confidence of four.
Ava: I only stay at five-star hotels. They become a six when I walk in.
Janine: And I'm thinking about booking a massage. I can afford either 20 minutes of a Swedish or 10 minutes of deep tissue.
Barbara: My advice: always go for quality over quantity.

Girl: Ms. Teagues, who's that?
Janine: Mom.
Vanetta: That's my baby. What's up, my baby's babies?

Vanetta: I hope y'all know y'all got the greatest teacher in the world. You want to know how I know? Because she learned from the best.
Janine: Mr. Rogers?
Vanetta: Me.
Janine: Oh.
Boy: Hi, Ms. Grandma Teagues.
Vanetta: Boy... I mean, oh, I'm nobody's granny, baby. Just call me Auntie Vanetta.
Janine: [laughs weakly] That doesn't make sense.

Janine: Mom. Hey, Mom. What are you doing here? I saw you called, and I tried to call you back. So...
Vanetta: Well, when you didn't answer, I got so worried, so I had to come and check on you.
Janine: We haven't spoken in, like, six months. How did you even get in? 'Cause you don't have a visitor's badge.
Vanetta: Oh, VIPs don't need badges, baby. We need refreshments. I'm thirsty. [school bell rings]
Janine: All right, guys, have fun at recess, okay? Be safe. Hey, Mom, Mom, Mom?
Vanetta: Yes?
Janine: Um, I'm gonna get you checked in.
Vanetta: Okay. Well, y'all kids behave now.

Janine: [aside to camera] This is so unexpected. I mean, I've invited my mom to come here a lot of times... Not today. But that's my mom. She plays by her own rules. Made it frustrating to play Uno growing up, but anyway, I'm really happy she's here.