Sally: Okay, here's how it's going to work. Doors open, crowd come in. Finger pastries. They nosh a little, they're delighted. They continue on to the layer cakes. The smell hits 'em, they're drooling like rabid dogs. Then the heavy artillery. They reach the walnut bread, the almond bars, the cashew squares. Bang! We got 'em by the roasted nuts.
Dick: Carry on, Lieutenant.
Sally: Thank you, sir.

Tommy: Sally, that was Andy Larson on the phone. Did you really make his mom do one-handed push-ups till she cried?
Sally: Yes. She had to be broken for the sake of the unit.

Dick: You know, this art is fascinating. Every era, every culture, they all have their own art. What drives them to create this?
Tommy: Naked women.
Dick: These are not naked women. They're nudes. Nudity is the artist's passionate celebration of the human form.
Tommy: Well, party on.

Sally: Banana nut muffin heads. Are there two parts banana to every one part walnut, Mrs. Hartzinger?
Mrs. Hartzinger: Yes, ma'am.
Sally: I can't hear you.
Mrs. Hartzinger: Yes, ma'am!
Sally: Mmm, mighty tasty rugula, Mrs. Greenstein.
Mrs. Greenstein: Thank you, ma'am.
Sally: Now, before we open the doors, I just have one more thing to say. You are, by far, the saddest, sorriest, most pathetic group of mothers... I have ever had the honor of commanding, and I'll never forget you. Music. Doors. All right, ladies, take no prisoners or personal checks.

Dick: Besides, I've made a command decision. We're not going to art class anymore. It's not productive. We've experienced it. Let's move on.
Harry: All righty. [leaves and returns] Permission to speak, High Commander?
Dick: What did you say?
Harry: Permission to speak, Dick?
Dick: You've never asked permission to speak before.
Harry: I've never really had anything worth saying. Dick, this art thing means a lot to me, and I have no idea why. All I know is that I like doing it. So I want to go tomorrow whether you go or not. [quietly] I'm sorry.
Dick: There's no need to be sorry for something you're good at, Harry. You go to class.
Harry: Really?
Dick: [grins] Ye-es. If that's what makes you happy, then I'm happy.
Harry: Ohh, thanks, Dick. Mmm, now there's the smile I like.

Mary: You're soaking wet.
Dick: Am I?
Mary: You've been acting strangely. What's wrong?
Dick: It's kind of hard to talk about. I have this friend whose brother Harry is a much better artist than he is.
Mary: Oh, so this is about you and Harry.
Dick: Am I that transparent?

Nina: You're telling me Dr. Solomon posed for this?
Mary: Yes.
Nina: Mm-hmm. Mmm, well, hello, Dr. Solomon.
Dick: [enters] Well, hello, Nina!
Nina: Well, I'll leave you three alone. [exits]

Dick: Oh! This is wonderful. I really did inspire you, didn't I?
Mary: Yes.
Dick: You know, the whole time I was standing there, I kept thinking about how you inspired Nadia. Whatever happened to her?
Mary: Oh... alcoholic, trailer park, seven kids. [laughs] Oh, no, it really is a shame.
Dick: What do you call it?
Mary: "Middle-aged naked guy who can't paint."

Harry: Well, here's my latest painting. It's a still life.
Dick: That's very interesting, Harry.
Sally: And very dark.
Tommy: It's a bunch of rotten fruit.
Harry: Yeah, I really got to learn to paint faster.