Dick: I saw your broadcast. We have to talk.
Sally: Oh, I can't. I got to get these charts together for tomorrow night.
Dick: Sally, it's over.
Sally: What? Why?
Dick: You're too accurate. They're gonna be onto us.
Sally: Dick, I cannot quit. I have what we, in this business, call "heat."
Dick: You'll feel heat when you're under the FBI's giant magnifying glass. That's right. They have one.

Sally: You're just jealous 'cause you've never been on TV.
Dick: Sally, maybe you've forgotten about The Dick Solomon Goodtime Hour.

Sally: So, what are we supposed to do? Just come down here and live while the rest of Rutherford perishes?
Dick: No, no, no. We'll invite people. We just have to convince them to spend a night in an abandoned bomb shelter without getting them all suspicious.
Harry: Well, I mean, there's plenty of room. We can probably pack in, like, 20 people.
Sally: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I do not want a sweat-fest.
Dick: Yeah, that's a no-can-do, Harry. I tell you what. Let's all just choose one person.
Sally: Yeah, yeah. Somebody with practical skills that we'll need to survive.
Harry: Oh! How about the plumber?
Sally: I don't know. We owe him money.

Dick: What are we talking about? We need to save our loved ones.
Sally: What about all that stuff you were talkin' about, about us not changing the course of human events?
Dick: Oh, come on, Sally. Do you really think that saving Mary and Don will make a bean's worth of difference?
Sally: Oh, yeah. Good point.

Nina: I'm off the clock, and I'm going to the movies. With Mary.
Dick: I know. But there's something more important that you have to do. Nina, you do care about Dr. Albright's health and well-being, don't you?
Nina: Yes, I care!
Dick: Then you need to bring her to a place tonight, where we'll all be together. And our love will help us deal with this inevitable disaster.
Nina: Oh, my God. Are you talking about an intervention?
Dick: Uh, well... I, uh... Yes, Nina. It's an intervention.
Nina: I know how Dr. Albright likes to drink, but I didn't think it had gotten this bad.
Dick: It has.
Nina: You know, my clergyman has a special room at the family center-
Dick: And I'm sure it's lovely. But for our purposes, we'll meet at an abandoned bomb shelter behind the Poly Sci building.
Nina: Well, how am I supposed to get her to go down there?
Dick: [stammering] Well tell her... that it's the grand opening of a new discotheque and the free shooters and hot wings stop at 9:00 sharp.
Nina: Gotcha.

Nina: Dr. Albright. Please know that none of us are here to judge you.
Mary: Why would you be?
Nina: What you have is a disease.
Don: You do? Well, could we crack a window? I got Jimmy Buffett tickets next Tuesday.
Nina: I'm talking about her drinking.
Mary: My drinking?!
Dick: [stammering] Now, just hang on-
Cheryl: Hey, I thought you looked familiar! I know you from the supermarket. You're the white zinfandel lady.
Mary: They- They call me that?
Harry: Let me tell you somethin', Albright. Your drinkin' doesn't just hurt you. It hurts everyone around you.
Dick: Will you shut up?!
Mary: I do not have a drinking problem!

Sally: So, Dick, what are you and Albright doin' tonight?
Dick: What all healthy couples are doing. Spending time apart.

Sally: Harry! You went walking in the rain in my new suede jacket?
Harry: Well, the guy on Channel 10 said it was gonna be sunny, and I'm experimenting with the buttons on the other side.
Sally: You jackass! Those idiots on TV can't predict the weather!
Dick: But they are very good with the lotto numbers.
Sally: Dick, this coat cost me 400 bucks. We're goin' down there. Someone's payin' for it.
Harry: Well, if you can that, then I'll go halvsies on your new blouse, 'cause that ran like a son of a gun.

Harry: Wow! The Channel 10 news set. This is almost like bein' there.
Sally: Harry, we are there.
Harry: Well, in that case, I'm a little disappointed.

Chaz Montana: What can we do for you folks?
Sally: Are you the idiot who does the weather?
Marty: No. He's the idiot who does the news.
Harry: Wait a second. I know you. You're, uh... You're...
Chaz Montana: I'm Chaz Montana.
Harry: No, that's not it. Give me a minute.
Sally: Chaz Montana? That's your real name?
Chaz Montana: Yes.
Sally: Okay. Look, Montana, you dopes predicted clear skies, and my brother here got caught in a downpour.
Harry: Hey! Were you in Flashdance?