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You Don't Know DIck

‘You Don't Know DIck’

Season 6, Episode 13 -  Aired February 13, 2001

Dick realizes he doesn't actually know Mary well at all. Meanwhile, Sally tries to move on from weather and learn the news game, while Harry is made a "gofer" down at the station.

Quote from Dick

Nina: What's her favorite food?
Dick: Chicken-fried steak.
Nina: That's your favorite. What's her favorite movie?
Dick: That's easy. A rental I kept called Gas Pump Girls.
Nina: What color are her eyes?
Dick: Oh, uh, that I know. Uh, mostly white on the outside, and in the middle... something not white.
Nina: Her favorite food is ratatouille, her eyes are blue or green depending on what she's wearing, and her favorite movie is Pardon My Sarong starring Bob Hope.
Dick: My God! You seem to know even more about Mary than I do!
Nina: Does that tell you anything?
Dick: Yes, it does! You've got a thing for my girlfriend!


Quote from Mary

Dick: Mary, coming to lunch? A new sushi place just opened.
Mary: Dick, I can't have sushi.
Dick: Why not?
Mary: I'm allergic. It makes me vomit.
Dick: Who could have put that idea in your head?
Mary: The paramedics.

Quote from Sally

Chaz Montana: Thanks, Richard. Sounds like one heck of a game. All right, now here's Sally Storm with a weather recap. Sally?
Sally: Thanks, Chaz. Well, there's no rain in sight, but by sundown you Rutherford kittens better find your mittens. It's gonna be cold. 26 degrees by midnight.
Chaz Montana: Wow, seems like a nice night to cuddle up by the fire with a little Swiss Miss.
Sally: Chaz, what you and your little Eurotrash girlfriend do is really none of our business.
Chaz Montana: I- I- I meant cocoa.
Sally: Aw, can't even keep track of their names. So sad. You know, I'm actually starting to think that that plastic surgeon gave you a little too much knockout gas when you went in for that fanny tuck.
Chaz Montana: Okay, I have a history of weak glutes in my family.
Sally: Okay, whatever. Anyway, tune in tomorrow for my 45-day forecast. I'm Sally Storm.

Quote from Harry

Marty: Sally, I just got the local ratings. We are now number two in weather and number three in news. You could be going places, Sally. You're hot!
Chaz Montana: So hot.
Sally: Sounds like we're a pretty good team, buddy.
Harry: Yeah, like John and Yoko, Sacco and Vanzetti, Bob Clisby and his 60-voice children's choir.
Marty: Who are you again?
Sally: Oh, that's just my brother Harry.
Marty: Unless you work here, you really shouldn't be hanging around.
Harry: If that's an offer to work here, then I'd love to.

Quote from Sally

Chaz Montana: Anything for you, teammate. And I mean that. Anything.
Sally: Okay, well, you know, I really enjoy predicting the weather, but, uh, I'd love to move up and start predicting the news.

Quote from Mrs. Dubcek

Mrs. Dubcek: You know, I twisted my ankle in a gopher hole nine years ago. That reminds me. I have to refill that pain medication on that.

Quote from Dick

Sally: Dick, great news from the station. I'm number two in weather.
Dick: Oh, big deal. You're forecasting atmospheric conditions on a planet that only has one sun.

Quote from Harry

Dick: Well, here's a news flash. Nina told me that I don't know anything about Mary.
Sally: What's not to know? I mean, she's stuck-up, boring.
Harry: And an excellent bowler.
Dick: I know all that, but what else?
Harry: She likes needlepoint and flavored coffees. Her zeal for walking in the rain is eclipsed only by her fervor for stamp collecting.
Dick: Why don't I know any of that?
Harry: Well, because you're a typical guy, ya pig.

Quote from Dick

Mary: What are these?
Dick: Your favorite flowers.
Mary: Lilacs aren't my favorite flowers.
Dick: Of course they are. I saw you buying them just yesterday.
Mary: I bought lilacs yesterday to put on my grandmother's grave.
Dick: And as luck would have it, they were still there. Uh, and there's more. How's this for combining your interests? A stamp for your collection celebrating needlepoint.
Mary: Dick, I don't collect stamps and I have no interest in needlepoint.
Dick: Yeah, I know that. Damn that Harry!

Quote from Judith

Judith: Mary, do I look like a queen in a sailor's dream?
Mary: You got the tickets!
Dick: Tickets?
Judith: Tenth row. You and I and an evening with woodsy balladeer Gordon Lightfoot.
Mary: Yee!
Dick: It's an exciting day for us all. Anybody up for a dumb-ass Bob Hope movie?
Mary: Oh, thank you for doing this, Judith.
Judith: Well, Mary, if anyone digs Lightfoot as hard as I do, it's Mary Albright.

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