‘Weight Loss’
Season 5, Episode 1 - Aired September 25, 2008
Over eight weeks of summer, Dunder Mifflin encourages its staff to lose weight. Meanwhile, Michael tries to form a friendship with Holly, Pam heads to New York for art school, Andy struggles to get Angela to settle on any wedding plans, and Ryan returns to Scranton in a new role.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Meredith: What should we do with the leftovers?
Stanley: I'm taking the dumplings for my wife.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, no, no. This is your last meal. There will be no leftovers.
Creed: I can bring these to my shelter.
Stanley: I'm taking my dumplings.
[Dwight sprays the food with bug repellent]
Dwight K. Schrute: There. Take those home to your wife.
Quote from Andy
Andy: I'm excited to lose weight for the wedding. Because I really want to have washboard abs the first time Angela sees me naked.
Quote from Michael Scott
Holly: Ex-squeeze me.
Michael Scott: No, I will ex-squeeze you. Okay, everybody, get used to this. Because we are going to be standing here briefly every Monday for the next seven Mondays.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Totally gonna slaughter at the weigh-in today.
Oscar: All I had this weekend to eat was a chicken breast and a case of Diet Coke.
Andy: Really? 'Cause I haven't eaten anything since noon on Friday.
Oscar: Okay.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Did you see Holly's butt?
Jim: Nope, I didn't. You know why?
Michael Scott: Why?
Jim: 'cause most of the time friends don't talk about other friend's butts.
Michael Scott: I know.
Jim: But what have you learned about her?
Michael Scott: I learned that she broke her left leg twice in one year. I learned that she's allergic to sesame seeds. I learned that she has read Lonesome Dove three times.
Jim: Nice.
Michael Scott: And that her butt refuses to quit!
Jim: Well, I tried.
Quote from Pam
Jim: So you have the directions? You have a toothbrush? You have a cell phone charger?
Pam: I have everything. Tomorrow I start a three month design program at the Pratt Institute in New York.
I will be a little fish in the Big Apple. What up, 212?
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Fax this for me.
Jim: Come on, she goes to New York in like, 10 minutes.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's not gonna take her 10 minutes to fax it, Jim. If I don't see you again, goodbye. Well, actually I'll see you when you give me the fax confirmation, so never mind.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Ang. Ela. [sings] Ella, ella, ella. Under my Angerela. Ella, ella, ella. Ay, ay--
Quote from Angela
Dwight K. Schrute: We done good in there, half-pint.
Angela: That was the last time, Dwight. I mean it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Monkey.
Angela: No. I have a fiance I very much like.
Quote from Jim
Jim: When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, he lead us to believe that he was the father by telling us that he was the father.