Michael Scott: Hey, Ryan, look. Shaved off my goatee. I am goate-less. We are the goate-less brothers.

Oscar: How was Friday night?
Holly: Oh, I had a good time, but it's been three days and no call. I even have two tickets to see Counting Crows for tonight, so.
Oscar: He'll call.
Michael Scott: Oscar, enough with the girl talk please.

Jim: [on the phone] So it turns out tonight is my nephew's tee ball game, and I kind of missed the first three, so...
Pam: You've already disappointed him so much. He can't be expecting a lot from you.
Jim: I know. I suck.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes, you do.
Jim: Dwight says hi.
Dwight K. Schrute: I do not. [shouting] I do not say hi, Pam!
Jim: Now he's saying hi louder.

Pam: [on the phone] All right, listen, we're still good for this weekend, right? No tee ball games, recitals, karate tournaments?
Jim: Can you got to IM?
Pam: OK.
Dwight K. Schrute: What are you writing about me? I'm gonna write you both up for not working.
Jim: I'm gonna write you up for not working.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. Well played. Neither of us will write the other up for not working.

Holly: Why do guys not call when they say they're gonna call?
Michael Scott: I don't know. I always call everybody back right away. But he'll call back, though. Give him to the end of the day. He'll call. If he doesn't, he is loco.

Holly: So we're only 8 pounds behind Utica. Now, I know it's a stretch, but, we could weigh ourselves again at the end of the day and maybe win this thing after all.
Andy: Leave it to me, boss. I can get this whole office to make weight. It's gonna be a little toasty in here. A good old-fashioned sweat lodge.

Michael Scott: Hey, is that healthy food?
Kelly: Nope.
Michael Scott: We're trying to win a contest here, Kelly, please?