Ryan: Heard you guys are looking for cash for the wedding?
Pam: Yeah, I mean, if it's all the same for you.
Ryan: Question for you. Would you guys rather have $100 now, or $5,000 a year from now?
Pam: $100 now for sure.
Ryan: Because you just give me $50 to cover the broker fee, I put in a hundred of my own money as the gift...
Pam: Yeah. No, no, I'll um... The hundred. I'll just take the hundred.
Ryan: Instead of $5,000 a year from now?
Pam: How sure is this?
[aside to camera:]
Pam: The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game. Don't tell Jim.

Jim: I don't think you're good at making tough decisions!
Michael Scott: Ah.
Jim: At thinking out the options, and then stating that decision very clearly, especially when it's an unpopular decision.
Michael Scott: Okay, here's a tough decision for you. You suck! You suck! Is that clear enough for you?!
Jim: Michael. Wait. But maybe I'm here for a reason, because I might have some good ideas, too. I've been sitting out there, and I've been learning a lot, and maybe I can just bring something different to the table.

Dwight K. Schrute: [in Michael's office] Could you please sign my expense report?
Michael Scott: No way, no how. Expense reports are a day-to-day item. That is Jim's now. I am exclusively big picture, epic.
Dwight K. Schrute: [in Jim's office] Sign this.
Jim: Ah, ah, ah. Where's the "please"? We're not animals.
Dwight K. Schrute: Sign it.
Jim: No, not without a "please."
Dwight K. Schrute: Idiot.

Dwight K. Schrute: [in Michael's office] I have a complaint about Jim.
Michael Scott: That is not big picture.
Dwight K. Schrute: I would like to file a huge, enormous, massive complaint about the tallest guy in our office.
Michael Scott: [considering] Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim won't sign my expense report.
Michael Scott: That is not- Okay- That is day-to-day.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, that is huge.
Michael Scott: You're trying to trick me.
Dwight K. Schrute: This has to do-
Michael Scott: Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.

Dwight K. Schrute: [in Jim's office] I'd like to lodge a complaint.
Jim: I'm sorry to hear about that. Who is this about?
Dwight K. Schrute: You!
Jim: Okay. Just want to let you know I take complaints very seriously. So... When did this happen?
Dwight K. Schrute: One minute ago.
Jim: Okay. And how do you feel?
Dwight K. Schrute: Angry.
Jim: All right. Did he hit you?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: Did you cry?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: Did you feel like crying?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: I'm just gonna write "held back tears."
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait, stop writing that. That is not true.
Jim: If you stop crying, I'll stop writing it.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm not cr- Uh!

Dwight K. Schrute: I deserved that promotion, not Jim. Oh, man. Makes me want to put him in a triangle choke hold and force him down to the ground and just keep pressing and pressing. And then flip him over and then put him in a hammer lock! And he's gasping, he's panting! Every last breath! And the crowd is going crazy. And boom! I emerge victorious! [claps hands and stands up] Aha! $18,000 and a chance at the title! Ooh hah!
Erin: Dwight, Jim wants you to keep it down.

Michael Scott: Everyone, now would be a good time to freshen up, because I'd like everyone to meet in the conference room in five minutes. And I suggest that you bring a snack, because we may be in there for a while.
Jim: Michael?
Michael Scott: Yes?
Jim: Can I talk to you in my office for a second?
Michael Scott: Mmm, sure, but could I first talk to you in my office?

Stanley: Can I also be a boss?

Jim: I have noticed that we-
Michael Scott: Welcome.
Jim: Thank you. I've noticed we've been having a lot of conference room meetings.
Michael Scott: Mm-hmm.
Jim: And I'm wondering if perhaps those are a bit, um...
Michael Scott: Disruptive.
Jim: Yes.
Michael Scott: No, I don't think they are. I think the meetings are very important.

Jim: How about this? I think our goal should be we don't have meetings unless they're absolutely essential.
Michael Scott: All right. No more meetings this week.
Jim: Really? You just agreed to that?
Michael Scott: I can be very surprising.