Dwight K. Schrute: [in Jim's office] I'd like to lodge a complaint.
Jim: I'm sorry to hear about that. Who is this about?
Dwight K. Schrute: You!
Jim: Okay. Just want to let you know I take complaints very seriously. So... When did this happen?
Dwight K. Schrute: One minute ago.
Jim: Okay. And how do you feel?
Dwight K. Schrute: Angry.
Jim: All right. Did he hit you?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: Did you cry?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: Did you feel like crying?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: I'm just gonna write "held back tears."
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait, stop writing that. That is not true.
Jim: If you stop crying, I'll stop writing it.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm not cr- Uh!