Kevin: Hey, Pam, I heard that you were registered, but I didn't hear where.
Pam: I don't think we registered anywhere. We just want cash.
Kevin: Like money? Like you- You want my money?
Pam: Mm-hmm.
Kevin: Will you take a check?
Pam: Yeah.
Kevin: Cool. In the memo line, I'm gonna write, "To love's eternal glory."
Pam: Okay.
Kevin: Wait til' Monday.

Pam: Is this what I've become? Materialistic? Shallow? I feel horrible. [looks down at the check] Oh, look! "Mrs. Pam Halpert!" That's the first time I've seen it in writing!

Jim: You know, the more I think about it, the more I think we should give it to the salesmen.
Michael Scott: That will not go over well.
Jim: I know. I just think it seems smart to keep the salesmen happy right now. 'course I know that this might come off as biased, so you know what? Let us...
Michael Scott: Oh, my God! Are you gonna make another pro and con list? I'm gonna kill myself.
Jim: I'm not gonna let you stop me from thinking.
Michael Scott: No! I could not do that, Jim. I can see it in your crusty little eyes that you are going to make everything perfect. If I can just think this through, if I could just think it exactly right, I can make this perfect, and then I can go down every avenue, and every avenue off of that avenue, and then another avenue.

Jim: Could I have everyone's attention, please? I have some tough news, so I'm just gonna give it to you straight. Truth is, we only have so much money for raises this year, so the simple fact is some people will get raises, and some people won't. Now, what we've decided is, we are gonna give those raises to the sales staff.
Meredith: Wait. Seriously?!
Jim: Look, you guys are smart, so I'm just leveling with you. I'm just trying to treat you like adults.
Oscar: Thank you, Jim, for thinking that we're smart people.
Angela: But, I do not understand. If we're such smart adults, then why don't we get raises?
Oscar: Excellent question, genius. It's because Jim wants to give the raises to his friends and the people he sleeps with.

Kelly: What's going on?
Kevin: Jim is only giving raises to the salesmen.
Kelly: What the hell? Why are you being such a jerk?
Oscar: Hold on, Kelly. Would it help you to know that Jim thinks you're smart?
Kelly: No! How is that gonna repair Ryan's car?!

Dwight K. Schrute: This is ridiculous! How could he do this to us?!
Jim: Okay, Dwight, you know what? You'd be getting the raise so...
Dwight K. Schrute: What about all these people, huh? How is it fair to them?

Oscar: We work just as hard as the sales people. We deserve raises.
Creed: Yes.
Angela: Yes. They don't get 'em, if we don't get 'em!
Meredith: My kid needs shoes! You want to tell him he doesn't get shoes?!
Kevin: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Her kid needs shoes, Jim!

Kevin: Yeah, I don't understand how they can even consider giving money to some people and not the rest of us.
Angela: It's not like we're not gonna see the checks. We're in accounting!
Meredith: I am so pissed at this company!
Dwight K. Schrute: [out the side of his mouth] And Jim!
Meredith: Yeah. Who said that?
Dwight K. Schrute: I think it was Creed.
Creed: Yep.

Dwight K. Schrute: Are we idiots? What right does Jim have to claim authority, hmm? Is he as good a salesman as I? Is he as matronly as Phyllis? There are moments where we can effect change. For a few seconds every decade, we exist. These are those seconds! Let us storm his castle! Come on! Tick. Let's get him. Tock. Let's get Jim! Tick. And drag Jim out of his office! Tock. Take his keys away from him! Tick. It's a clock! The time is getting very close! It's now or never! What say you?!
Phyllis: I say no.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, I mean, what do you say to my plan? [all groan] Okay.

Jim: Michael's my only friend left in the office. Except Pam... I think. Is she still upset?