Gabe: I don't wanna be the heavy here, but honestly, guys, this makes us all look bad.
Jim: Sorry about that.
Pam: So embarrassing.
Gabe: Good. Okay. End of the dressing down. I just hate that part of the job, you know, the power dynamics.
Jim: Well, you were surprisingly restrained.
Pam: We will be well-rested tomorrow.
Gabe: Okay. That's great, actually, because I wanted to talk to you about something else.
Jim: Excellent. Go for it.
Gabe: I'm sure you got my email about the printer fires. The one with the branching decision tree? I actually designed that chart. Kinda hoping it catches on. [Jim and Pam start to fall asleep again] Anyway, the question is, what is the best way to disseminate important information in an efficient way?
Jim: Right? So, uh, let's uh...

Andy: Chase Dixon is up. Could be a big play.
Michael Scott: You have no idea what you're talking about.
Andy: I know it's like cricket.
Michael Scott: You don't. No, no.
Andy: And it's- There's- Well, home plate is like a wicket.

Mediator: Look, I can't legally watch this unfold. It's coming a little dangerously close to prostitution.
Angela: I want eye contact.
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Angela: Yes.
Dwight K. Schrute: Do you understand how rare is that in nature?
Angela: I'm not some farm animal.

Andy: Shane. Great game man!
Shane: Do I know you?
Andy: No. Uh, just big fans. Both of us.
Shane: Are you somebody's parents? Oh, are you guys Kenny's dads?
Andy: Ha. No, no. But we're gay for baseball. [chuckles]
Shane: Okay.
Andy: But I have a wife, actually, who I really love a lot.
Shane: Okay. Let's go!
Andy: Yeah. I am so into the institution of marriage. I mean, isn't marriage the best, you know? Two good people finding each other, getting all committed to each other. So you love baseball. What else do you love? Let's round you out as a person.
Shane: Hey, I'm really sorry, I'm just trying to focus here on the game.
Andy: I get it, man. I love it. That's what makes you a good coach. You know, but as a fan, it just helps me enjoy the game better if I know the coach loves his wife.
Shane: Of course. Okay? I gotta get back to this.
Andy: Of course.
Shane: All right.

Oscar: How can you live with yourself?
Michael Scott: I am what I am, Oscar. And I want what I want. And right now, I want a piece of cake. From now on, when I'm hungry, I am going to eat whatever I am hungry for.
Kevin: That is a dangerous game, friendo.

Kelly: Well, because I thought that it was a book about Anthropology the store.
Ryan: I don't know why you were in that part of the bookstore.
Kelly: 'Cause it's next to they baby section, okay?
Ryan: Alright, well, that makes more sense. You should have said that at the beginning when you said, "I read a book about anthropology."
Kelly: I don't really know why you're screaming at me right now.
Ryan: I'm not scream- I'm not screaming.

Kelly: That's Meredith's cake. It's her birthday.
Michael Scott: I don't care. I have an appetite for life! [eats cake] Mmm. Mmm! Oh, god. That's Lemon.
Ryan: Good for you, man. Good for you.
[aside to camera:]
Ryan: He takes what he wants.

Dwight K. Schrute: I am an honorable man, and I will honor the contract. But I don't have to give her the good stuff. Schrute sperm are strong, but they're no match for a grown Schrute man. Let's see what she gets. Aah!

Creed: Uh, boss, we're out of paper.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I noticed that.
Creed: Are you gonna add any more?
Michael Scott: Nope.
[aside to camera:]
Creed: He don't give an "F" about nothin'!

Pam: I don't think I'm gonna make it.
Jim: [yawning] What about an energy drink or something?
Pam: [shakes head] It gets in the breast milk. If I drink it, Cece drinks it six hours later.
Jim: Well, it doesn't mean I can't drink it.
Pam: Well, it does and it doesn't.