Bert: Toby?
Toby: Oh, hey, Bert. Wanna see the dance? Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry...
Bert: You're fired.
Toby: ...bones. What?
Bert: You heard me. Pack your things.
Toby: What... you can't... Gabe? Are you...
Bert: I'm the CEO's son. Pack your things. You're done.
[Dwight laughs as he watches on]

Erin: When they talk about all the nice things about dating a coworker, they don't mention one of the best parts. After you're done dating, you still get to work together. Every single day.

Gabe: Yeah, it seems like there isn't a narrative. Maybe the filmmaker realized that even narrative is comforting.

Erin: That Andy, so hot and cold. One day he's like, fax these documents, please. The next he's like, Pam, you fax them, who cares what Erin's feeling, right?
Pam: Oh, Erin.
Erin: Pam, how would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale of 1 to 3?
Pam: Um, 2?
Erin: That's like, the second to last thing I wanted to hear.

Phyllis: Bob and I are doing this Scranton Haunted Walking Tour.
Oscar: I always wondered what kind of people went on that thing.
Pam: Oh, hey, if you go by the Banshee Pub, tell the Man In Black I say hello.
Oscar: ... [sigh] What happened, Pam?
Pam: Okay. When I was 22, I worked there and everybody said the place was haunted. I didn't believe it until one day before we opened, I look up into the mirror, you know, behind the bar, and I see this old man dressed all in black, but when I turn around, there's no one there. So, I tell the cook my story...
Phyllis: Wait, they have food there?
Pam: ...and he said, That's what everyone sees. That's the Man In Black.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: No! My wife does not believe in ghosts.

Andy: [claps] Chef from South Park, it's genius!
Stanley: Just some chef.

Jim: I know, I know, I know. But Darryl and Kevin needed a third. They bought me this jersey. I said no. Kevin started crying. So, I am Chris Bosh.

Andy: I just got a text from Broccoli Rob. "Boo!" Scared me. And then I got this text from Robert California - "Looking forward to Halloween party. Expectations are high." Scared the [beep] out of me.

Jim: Oh, this Man In Black thing, what do you think that was about?
Pam: What do you mean?
Jim: Was it, like, trickery in the lights, or maybe you were so primed to see it, then there it was?
Pam: I saw a ghost.
Jim: Mmm-hm. No, but what I'm saying is, like, do you ever wonder what it was?
Pam: It was a ghost, I told you this on, like, our first date.
Jim: Yeah, I had just told you about the day that I met the Blue Angels. I figured you had to top it.
Pam: I don't know what to tell you, Jim, but I saw a ghost.

Robert: Oh, look, Pin The Wart On The Wench. How did you know I was bringing my son?
Erin: Oh, I didn't. It was for us, but he can play. Bertie-boy, would you like to play this game?
Bert: That stuff's for babies.
Robert: Well, perhaps this party will awaken the baby in all of us.
Andy: Wow, who shot our grown-up party with a kiddie ray gun? We're still getting it set up, it's gonna be really cool.