Robert: Hey, you found us!
Curtis: You guys sound great, man.
Robert: Darryl, Andy, Kevin, this is Curtis Dorough, local musician and the officiate at my wedding.
Darryl: Local musician? Local legend! I used to come hear you play every week at the Deerhead.
Kevin: [to drummer] Dude, you're on TV! You're the sportscaster on channel seven.
Drummer: Go Eagles! [laughs]
Kevin: You do that on TV!

Ryan: Hey. Asking for a friend. Do you happen to know if that new girl is single?
Jim: Hmm. Doubt it.
Ryan: Yeah, me too.
Pam: You doubt it?
Jim: What's that?
Pam: Why do you doubt that she's single?
Jim: Honestly, I have no idea. I just figured we'd save her from Ryan right?

Darryl: What are you doing with my lunch?
Andy: I'm delivering it from the fridge. It's like a porno. Hey did anyone order a pizza?
Darryl: It's not pizza.
Andy: Yeah and we're not about to make love.

Robert: I play harmonica. I think I have one in the car.
Andy: Great!
Kevin: Nice guys, Robert is going to be a Zit!
Darryl: Again, never agreed upon.

Dwight K. Schrute: If we're going to work together, we need some ground rules.
Pam: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Rule one: our only loyalty is to the truth.
Pam: I think so. Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Rule two: we stop at nothing.
Pam: Well, what does that- Is that- Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Rule three: Don't fall in love.
Pam: Yep, good.
[both to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: We're gonna bust this guy.
Pam: Honesty is very important to me.
Dwight K. Schrute: So important. And then we will destroy the man himself.
Pam: Let's just see how we feel when we get there.

Kelly: Well, you came to the right person. You have to follow your intuition, Pam. You don't want to end up like Elin Nordegren. Actually, what am I saying, you wish you had her life. No offense, Pam.
Dwight K. Schrute: None taken. What do you got?
Kelly: It is called the matchmaker test, and it is very powerful. Basically we have Pam ask Jim which of his friends he would set up with Cathy. If Jim picks a really hot friend, then we know that he thinks that Cathy's hot.

Pam: Hey, I was talking to Cathy. Turns out she is single.
Jim: Oh, I stand corrected.
Pam: I thought it might be fun to set her up with someone. Any ideas?
Jim: Oh, you know who might be good? Mike Tibbets.
Pam: Mike Tibbets, really?
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Ryan: Hey, who's this Mike Tibbets guy? What kind of car does he drive?
Jim: Not his mom's car.
Ryan: 'cause his mom's car's probably not a Nissan Z.
Jim: Touche?

Darryl: Hey, you caught some of that?
Val: I caught it.
Darryl: What, you don't like the blues?
Val: I might enjoy seeing you guys play the blues.
Andy: Well, we are playing. We're all playing together. These are our jam buddies. It's a jam session. We go where the music takes us. [music starts]
Val: I think the music left without you.

Andy: We had to leave because of creative differences.
Darryl: Yeah they kind of had a specific sound that didn't really fit in with our thing.
Kevin: Guys, this means they're Kevin and the Zits now.
Darryl: No, man, we are.
Andy: Well-
Darryl: No, no, no.

Old Man: I have a new heart, you know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Do you really, Tin Man?