Dwight K. Schrute Quote #1072
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in New Guys
Dwight K. Schrute: Do you see how the trapeze completely surrounds the wire? That means it's literally impossible for anyone to fall off. So you will merely sit below and be my counterweight as I pedal across the parking lot to that telephone pole.
Pam: I will?
Dwight K. Schrute: You will. Yeah we weigh about the same, wouldn't you say?
Pam: Sure, if you weigh 105 pounds.
Dwight K. Schrute: So you'll do it?
Pam: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on, this will be the only thrill of your boring life.
Pam: Dwight, you may find this hard to believe, but I love my boring life.
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on.
Pam: Exactly the way it is.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, Pam.
Pam: Yes, and there's nothing you could say that would get me to run the slightest risk of losing it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Please? Please, Pam?
Pam: Find someone else. I don't know. Ask Phyllis.
Dwight K. Schrute: I can't use Phyllis. Are you kidding me? The moment she steps off this bar I'll be launched into space. God, you're so insensitive.
The Office Quotes
‘New Guys’ Quotes
Quote from Creed
Creed: In the parking lot today there was a circus. The copier did tricks on the high-wire, a lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator; a strong man crushed a turtle. I laughed and I cried. Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.
Quote from Kevin
Kevin: Oh, what a summer! An emotional roller-coaster. I ran over a turtle in the parking lot, but then I saved him by gluing his shell back together. But I'm not that good at puzzles. So I patched him with stuff from around the office. But I couldn't get the pieces to fit right. Then, one day, when I was reaching for the glue, I crushed his shell again. But I rebuilt him even better that time. But it turned out the turtle was already dead. Probably when I ran over him the first time.
Quote from Kevin
Angela: Well, I need to give my cat up for adoption.
Kevin: The one who uses the doorbell, or the one with the Mexican hat, or the one with the rain galoshes, or the one you let go around naked?
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: Angela's cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat them. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin.