Andy: Well, you do actually. You've got this kinda like Florida Panhandle thing going, whereas what you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses just sorta spillin' out of your mouth.
Kevin: Ooh, now do the Swedish chef.
Andy: Uh, not familiar, what province is he from?
Kevin: He lives on Sesame Street, dumbass.

Phyllis: You know, I think I'm supposed to say something to Pam, I mean, Deb, OK? [in character] I overheard you asking the butler where the pistol was kept.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm the butler. You were listening in on that? You rich people. You think you can do whatever you want to the servant class!
Michael Scott: No, no, no. Don't turn this into a political thing.
Dwight K. Schrute: I will poison your food.

Kevin: Y'all.

Kevin: Do you want to go out on a date with me? We can make out by the horses.
Erin: Well, you know ol' Nellie's always up for a romp in the hay.
Meredith: How about a threesome?
Erin: Yeah, my boudoir's always open.
Kevin: Nice.

Andy: I'm a little worried I might have asked out Naughty Nellie and not Erin. Which would be a whole lot less appealing, because Naughty Nellie says yes to everyone. And she might be a murderer.

Jim: Okay, I'm going back to work.
Michael Scott: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [accent] I'm going to skip forward to a relevant clue. Here we go.
Voice on C.D.: Well, by now you've figured out that ol' Beatrix Bourbon was the killer.
Phyllis: Michael, I was doing so well.
Michael Scott: [accent] Are you going to believe that? That is a mis- That's a misdirection. We still don't know who the murderer is. Nellie Nutmeg, come back in here. I can't do this myself. Voodoo Mama Juju... what am I gonna do?

Dwight K. Schrute: Frankly, I'm not surprised. A lot of the evidence seemed to be based on puns.

Andy: I was just thinking about Weekend at Bernie's. It's funny, the guy's dead the whole time.
Erin: I haven't seen it.
Andy: Speaking of weekends, you excited about our date this weekend?
Erin: [accent] Of course, Nathaniel.
Andy: Yeah, okay.
Erin: [accent] Where are you taking me?
Andy: [accent] Well, finest steakhouse in all Savannah.
Erin: [accent] Savannah? That's a far way from Scranton.
Andy: Did you mean a real date?
Erin: No. [laughs] Did you?
Andy: Totally... not. [Erin gets up and walks away]
[aside to camera:]
Erin: I thought it was for real. So I was excited, but it was just, it was part of the game.

Dwight K. Schrute: You're sure it was water, it couldn't have been acid?
Michael Scott: I already declared you. It was too dark to tell.
Dwight K. Schrute: Stop playing games with me, Crawdad.
Michael Scott: This is not a game, this is my life. You are out of order, sir.
Dwight K. Schrute: Answer me.
Michael Scott: You are out of order.
Dwight K. Schrute: You are out of order.

Pam: I think Michael may have snapped.
Jim: Or maybe he's just stuck in character.
Pam: Well, which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
Jim: Both. They're both worse.