Dwight K. Schrute: What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Mifflin?
Ryan: Outsourcing and consolidation of competition.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wrong. Flash floods. What is the true cause of Robert Mifflin's suicide?
Ryan: Depression?
Dwight K. Schrute: Wrong. He hated himself. What is the Dharma Initiative?

Kelly: I can't believe that Ryan is not back yet. Where could they be?
Angela: Sales take a long time.
Kelly: Oh, my God, I'm so worried.
Angela: I'm sure Dwight will protect him.
Kelly: I don't know, Dwight's so weird.
Angela: He's not weird, he's just individualistic.
Kelly: No, he's a freak.
Angela: You're a freak!

Dwight K. Schrute: Ryan, come on. I am sorry. I am sorry. Mose is sorry, too. Look, he sent over a basket with eggs and some fat-back bacon, and look, something he whittled.

Dwight K. Schrute: Establish time frames. Keep the phrase "real dollars" in their heads. And always keep the power in the conversation. That's why you're losing them on the cold calls. 'Cause you say the word "please" too much.
Ryan: Wait, can you go back-
Dwight K. Schrute: Michael always says, "K- I-S-S." "Keep It Simple Stupid," great advice, hurts my feelings every time.

Ryan: Okay, I'm going to establish time frames.
Dwight K. Schrute: Good.
Ryan: I'm gonna put everything in terms of real dollars.
Dwight K. Schrute: Right.
Ryan: I'm gonna ask a lot of questions that all have, sort of, positive answers. Then I can say, "That would be better" or, "We would like that." That sort of thing.
Dwight K. Schrute: Exactly, yeah. That's good.
Ryan: I am going to try to be confident but not cocky.

[Ryan grabs an egg from Dwight's car and gets ready to lob it at the Axelrod office]
Dwight K. Schrute: What are you doing? Oh, no, no, no! No! Ryan! Yes! Ryan the temp, yeah! Come on! Come on! Courtesy of Dunder Mifflin! Come on, drive!
Ryan: You drive!

Jim: [on the phone] Why are you still there?
Pam: I had to work late. Jan's making me keep a log of everything Michael does all day.
Jim: Oh, wow! Do you think you could send me a copy of that?
Pam: Yeah, totally.

Pam: [on the phone] Everything's pretty much the same here.
Jim: Oh, good.
Pam: A little different. What time is it there?
Jim: What time is it here? We're in the same time zone.
Pam: Yeah, right.
Jim: How far away did you think we were?
Pam: I don't know. It felt far.
Jim: Yeah.

Jim: [on the phone] I have a question for you.
Pam: What?
Jim: How many words per minute does the average person type?
Pam: I type 90.
Jim: Shut up. Mavis Beacon doesn't even type 90.
Pam: It's true.
Jim: Okay, I said "average."
Pam: Seventy? How many do you type?
Jim: Forget it. I was just about to brag. Forget it.
Pam: Come on. Tell me.
Jim: No.
Pam: No. You have to tell me now.
Jim: Sixty-five. Okay, no need to laugh.
Pam: No, that's respectable.
Jim: Respectable?

Pam: So, okay, I'm watching the movie, by myself.
Jim: Right.
Pam: Because I just wanted a relaxing evening at home.
Jim: Okay.
Pam: And I'm freaking out.
Jim: Yeah.
Pam: That movie is so scary.
Jim: I know.
Pam: But I'm holding on because I keep waiting for Sandra Bullock to show up.
Jim: No way! How do you confuse 28 Days with 28 Days Later?
Pam: Because I got it at Blockbuster and they don't put the pictures on the box.
Jim: No, you're making this up.
Pam: Would I make that up?
Jim: Yes. Fancy new Beesly would make that up. New apartment, new stories...