Dwight K. Schrute: And no, I cannot lower my current prices. [phone rings] Hold on. Hello? Mr. Schofield, thank you so much for taking the time to talk. I wanted to discuss your contract with us- oh, you're considering him. I thought Michael Scott left the paper business after his nervous breakdown.

Michael Scott: [answering phone] Hello, Dwight, I've been expecting your call. What do you want?
Dwight K. Schrute: I would like to arrange a truce.
Michael Scott: So you heard Schofield is considering a switch, and you want mercy?
Dwight K. Schrute: Meet me in our spot in four minutes.
Michael Scott: No. No. You think I am going to fall for that? There's no-
Dwight K. Schrute: Michael.
Michael Scott: Meet- Okay, go to the spot and then walk 100 feet.
Dwight K. Schrute: In which direction?
Michael Scott: Toward the sun.
Dwight K. Schrute: At what time?
Michael Scott: Noon.
Dwight K. Schrute: That-
Michael Scott: You have two seconds.

Michael Scott: Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Michael.
Michael Scott: I hope you're not recording this conversation. [Dwight drops his pants and lifts up his shirt] Good. I cannot believe that you sided with Charles.
Dwight K. Schrute: You were making me do things that were not all right.
Michael Scott: So you just rat me out? You could have said no.
Dwight K. Schrute: And not come through for you?
Michael Scott: If you want a truce, I will give you a truce.
Dwight K. Schrute: I want a truce.
Michael Scott: I do too.
Dwight K. Schrute: Let me take you and your whole company out for lunch at Alfredo's.
Michael Scott: Cooper's.
Dwight K. Schrute: I had fish yesterday.
Michael Scott: Damn it.

Michael Scott: [answering phone] Oh. Dwight-elicious. Where you at?
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, hi, Michael. I'm so sorry I'm late. I got stuck in traffic.
Michael Scott: Really? That's weird. We didn't see any.
Dwight K. Schrute: I hit a bear.
Michael Scott: What?
Dwight K. Schrute: He's technically fine. I imagine the true horror will be when he wakes up in a zoo. [throws a fish into the vent at Michael's office] Hey, listen, will you do me a favor and order the meatball parm for me, with extra cheese?
Michael Scott: Yeah, sure.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, I will see you very soon, alright? [Dwight takes all the items off Michael's desk and puts them into briefcase, including rolodex]

Dwight K. Schrute: [on the phone] Hi there. Dwight Schrute here. I was just calling to see if Michael Scott Paper was meeting all of your paper needs, and how is [reading off Rolodex card] Brenda, age four, ponytail, and Simon, age 7? Oh, you don't say.

Dwight K. Schrute: And say hello to Cheri, who is your black wife. [hangs up and answers cell phone] I see you're begging for mercy, huh? Well, you will find none here.
Michael Scott: Dwight, do you mind if we talk?
Dwight K. Schrute: Sure. That'd be fine.
Michael Scott: If you keep coming after us, the Michael Scott Paper Company cannot succeed.
Dwight K. Schrute: This is war and that is what happens.
Michael Scott: Oh, one more thing. I'm going to have you listen while I steal your biggest client.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, no. No. No. No. No.
Michael Scott: Oh, uh oh, I'm turning you down right now.
Dwight K. Schrute: Michael! Michael!
Michael Scott: You can hear me, but I can't hear you.
Secretary: Mr. Schofield's ready to see you now, Mr. Scott.
Michael Scott: Oh, great. Mr. Schofield's ready to see me. Thank you so much.
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't let him in! He's a traitor! Michael!
Michael Scott: Walking in the door...
Mr. Schofield: Michael, good to see you.
Michael Scott: Mr. Schofield, good to see you. And I'm closing the door.

Andy: Excuse me, can I have your attention, everyone? Here's the deal, everybody. Jim Halpert is very upset and disturbed. I don't know if it was something you did, something you said, a look you gave him, maybe it was nothing at all, but here's the deal, okay? It stops now.
Kevin: I guess I could be nicer.
Phyllis: Andy, I think Jim is messing with you.
Andy: Oh, really?
Phyllis: Mm-hmm. [looks over to Jim smiling through windows to the kitchen]

Andy: Argh! Oh man, he got me so good. I learned something about myself today. Yeah. I wish this was a sofa, cause I feel like I could sit here and talk for hours.