Dwight K. Schrute: [holding up Rolodex card] Schrute comma Dwight. And on the back he wrote, "great salesman, better friend." [turns card over] "Tall" and "beets."

Jim: Okay.
Andy: Yeah, okay, what the heck is happening here?
Jim: Two things I need you to understand. One, Pam and I are very happy together.
Andy: Uh, that's not what was-
Jim: And two, that stuff that happened with you and Angela is a bummer, and I know that you don't think you're ever gonna find someone else, but you will. I promise you, you will.

Secretary: Uh, hello, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Spin move.
Secretary: Oh-
Dwight K. Schrute: Ha ha! April 13th, 2002.
Mr. Schofield: Dwight, I'm in a meeting.
Michael Scott: That's very rude.
Dwight K. Schrute: I barge because I care. April 13th, 2002, that is the date when you tried to switch paper providers for an obscure sociology textbook, but were hung out to dry when the price of glossy stock increased.
Mr. Schofield: Maybe we should schedule a meeting on our-
Dwight K. Schrute: La la la! Continuing. Notice my persistence and recall. Continuing! You called Dunder Mifflin, and your order was filled within an hour!
Michael Scott: I'm going to pull a date out of the air right now. April 13th, 2002. That is the last day that you evaluated your paper needs. Is it not? We all know that the economy is bad, and bloated companies like Dunder Mifflin-
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on.
Michael Scott: -are going to fall by the wayside. Two of their branches have closed within the last year. The Michael Scott Paper Company, however, has opened a new branch this very month.
Dwight K. Schrute: What he's not telling you is that he will abandon you.
Mr. Schofield: Why don't you guys just e-mail me your best offers and we can finish it up that way?
Michael Scott: That sounds like a fantastic idea. I will see you this weekend for the Penguins. Box seats as usual.

Pam: Things are a little slow here. And there's only so much cold-calling you can do in a day. Turns out there's no limit to the number of cheese puffs you can throw at someone's face.
Michael Scott: [o.s.] Hup!
Pam: We're getting pretty good at it.

Andy: What was up with Pam being all pushy and negative in there?
Jim: I think she just didn't want a crucifix cake.
Andy: It scares me to see you going down a road that I went down.
Jim: Am I going down a road?
Andy: When I see her bossing you around like that, it just makes me wonder if this thing really has the legs to go the distance.
Jim: It's so scary how right the things you're saying are. And you're coming at it with almost no knowledge, so of course I trust your opinion on this.

Jim: I was going to use today to purge my inbox, but now something much more pressing has come up.

Michael Scott: Ed's Tires. Why don't you tell them that we have fewer clients, so we can spend more time with each of them. Also, try to discuss it over Indian food, and try to mention how you distrust women.
Pam: I'm not gonna do that.
Michael Scott: That is smart. That would not seem genuine. Ryan?
Ryan: I can get there.
Michael Scott: Good, you take the lead on this one. Also, do not forget that he has just gone through a messy divorce.
Ryan: Oh, awesome.

Charles: Dwight, take a seat.
Dwight K. Schrute: I prefer to stand. Less blood clots.
Charles: Nah, that's weird. You're gonna sit. Great. You know, Dwight, it has been quite a transition for all of us. Are you happy with the way things have been runnin' lately?
Dwight K. Schrute: Why do you ask? Do you mean compared to the ways things ran with other bosses? Comparisons are hard.
Charles: I've just been impressed with your performance and I wanted to make sure good work doesn't go unnoticed.
Dwight K. Schrute: Your concern is noted.
Charles: Yeah, I like your work ethic. You're so... focused.
Dwight K. Schrute: Like a wolf. Thank you.
Charles: And I wanna start givin' you more responsibility. What do you say you and I go out for a drink this week?
Dwight K. Schrute: Really?
Charles: Definitely.
Dwight K. Schrute: [shaking Charles' hand] It's firm.

Michael Scott: [on phone] I need you to get me the prices that you're charging Ed's tires so I can undercut Dunder Mifflin.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't know that I can do that now. You know, uh, something's come up.
Michael Scott: Oh n- Is it Mose? Did you put the cover on that well?
Dwight K. Schrute: No, Mose is fine. I roped it off. It's not about Mose. Listen, things are changing here, Michael, they're changing fast.
Michael Scott: I'm not following you.
Dwight K. Schrute: Imagine... Someone has a personal hero they really wanna help. But then there's this new guy. Very cool, very Will Smith-esque, who would not like it if he helped his hero.
Michael Scott: Personal hero, cool new guy. Okay, I think I'm getting your drift.
Dwight K. Schrute: Good, do you see what I'm saying?
Michael Scott: Crystal clear. So is this for a movie that you're writing?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: Can I use it? [Pam holds up a note saying "He's talking about you!"]
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: [Michael dismisses the note, Ryan and Pam point to notepad] Dwight, are you talking about us?
Dwight K. Schrute: It is possible that I could be talking about us.
Michael Scott: Someone could say it is like the situation that we are in now?
Dwight K. Schrute: It is the situation that we are in now.
Michael Scott: So I would say that the old boss has always been good to Dwight, and he was there first, so he has dibs. You respect dibs, don't you?
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm not a barbarian.
Michael Scott: Good. Will you meet me in 20 minutes at the spot?
Dwight K. Schrute: I will.
Michael Scott: Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes?
Michael Scott: Is the cool new guy Charles?
Dwight K. Schrute: I've said too much.
Michael Scott: Is it Stanley?

Jim: Hey, Andy. You know I've been thinkin about what you said.
Andy: 'Noishe.'
Jim: I just don't know if I can do it.
Andy: That's interesting, because I hear what you're saying is that you do want to do it, which means that you can do it. Believe me, I broke up with Angela, and I'm like, the happiest guy ever. I mean, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Like, total freedom, you know?
Jim: It's just that Pam gets me through the day, you know? I really rely on her. I'm pretty emotionally needy.
Andy: And you know what? I am here for you. Let me be your traveling pants.