Michael Scott: Jan thinks Hunter is very talented. You know what? I don't think he's that good.
Jan: At least he's an artist.
Michael Scott: B.F.D., I'm a screenwriter.
Jan: And I'm a candle maker, but you don't hear me braggin' about it!
Michael Scott: No, all you do is you get me to try to work on my rich friends.
Jan: For an investment opportunity!
Michael Scott: Man, I would love to burn your candles!
Jan: You burn it, you buy it!
Michael Scott: Oh, good, I'll be your first customer!
Jan: You're hardly my first.
Michael Scott: That's what she said!

Pam: We- We got you this.
Jan: Oh, well, Pam, thank you. This will be great to cook with.

Jan: So music? Should we turn some music?
Michael Scott: That sounds good.
Jan: So do you guys remember my old assistant, Hunter? He is an excellent song writer. Wait until you hear this.
Okay, here we go.
Hunter: [singing on CD] You took me by the hand Just made me a man That one night You made everything all right So raw, So right All night, all right Oh yeah! So raw, so right, All night, all right Oh yeah!
[Jan starts dancing, slapping her behind, then holding Jim's hand before settling in with Michael]

Michael Scott: You know what? Hunter was a terrible assistant. That's probably why Ryan fired him.
Jan: Well, he's probably just as reliable as Pam, being that it usually takes you an afternoon to get back to me.
Angela: Sometimes I think she holds on to faxes.

Jan: Babe, can you just, like, really- You're just, like, really-
Michael Scott: What? What?
Jan: Could you just simmer down?
Michael Scott: I'm just making people laugh.
Jan: No.
Michael Scott: Yes, I was watching Jim's face.
Jan: I was watching Jim.
Michael Scott: And he was laughing.
Jan: No smile.
Michael Scott: Look at him. He's laughing.

Jan: I'm so, so sorry for the temperature in here. The, um sliding glass door shattered. So... It's actually a really cute story. Do you wanna tell it, babe or should I tell it?
Michael Scott: I don't like that story, babe.
Jan: Come on! It's a cute story. Michael ran through the sliding glass door because he thought he heard the ice cream truck. [laughing]
Michael Scott: Stop. Stop it! I mean, I like ice cream, okay? Sue me. Oh, no, don't. I shouldn't say that jokingly because she will sue me. She loves to sue. She loves lawsuits. You know, honey, that door was extremely clean and it looked invisible.
Jan: You are so right. You are so right! Because before I lived here, the glass was always covered in smudges. And I moved in and I cleaned it, so I guess that makes me the devil.
Michael Scott: [laughing] You are! She is! She is the devil! I'm in hell! Argh! I'm burning. Help me.

Dwight K. Schrute: Hello.
Jan: What are you doing here?
Dwight K. Schrute: We came here to eat dinner and to party. This is a dinner party, right?
Pam: Awesome!
Dwight K. Schrute: What is he doing here?
Angela: Yes, what are you doing here?
Michael Scott: Dwight is friend.
Dwight's babysitter: We weren't invited?
Michael Scott: You said that I could not invite Dwight because he was not part of a couple, and because we didn't have enough wine glasses. Dwight brought glasses and a person.

Jim: Of course.
Dwight K. Schrute: Get out of my way. I'll take care of this. Okay, what seems to be the problem, officers?
Officer #1: Not now, Dwight. We got a call about a disturbance?
Michael Scott: No. Nope. Nothing disturbing here. Just a couple of friends having an awesome dinner party.
Officer #2: Your neighbors said they heard some shouting.
Michael Scott: Yes, there was screaming, but... My girlfriend threw a Dundie at my TV. A plasma.
Officer #1: You want to press charges?
Michael Scott: Would she get into trouble?
Officer #1: Yeah, she'd be charged.
Michael Scott: I will take the fall. I did it.
Officer #2: You don't have to press charges. You could just try to be more quiet.

Jan: Michael! Michael! What what are you doing to him?
Officer #1: Sir, do you have any other place you could stay? Maybe with one of your friends here?
Dwight K. Schrute: Michael can come home with me.
Michael Scott: Jim, Pam?
Jim: Oh, my apartment's on fire.
Pam: [whispers] Flooded.
Jim: Flooded.

Dwight K. Schrute: Michael, what time should I be arriving?
Michael Scott: Dwight, it's couples only. And besides, I only have six wine glasses. So it will be me and Jan, and Pam and Jim. And Angela and Andy.
Andy: Hey-O!