Dwight K. Schrute: Hmm. Great turkey leg.
Jan: [sobbing] Okay, I'm just gonna check on dinner.
Dwight K. Schrute: Angela, would you like some of my beet salad?
Angela: I hate beet salad.
Dwight's babysitter: It's actually really good.
Dwight K. Schrute: Hey, hey, hey! I know you love beet salad. I've seen you eat it many times.
Angela: The thought of popping one of your beets into my mouth makes me want to vomit.

Jim: Michael has asked Pam and me to dinner at least nine times. And every time, we've been able to get out of it. But I've got to give him credit. He got me. Because I'm starting to suspect that there was no assignment from corporate.

Jan: So this is the master bedroom. And these walls, they used to be, like white, like an asylum. So I wanted it to be softer so I had it painted in eggshell white.
Michael Scott: Guess what. White and eggshell white are exactly the same color.
Jan: Babe.
Michael Scott: Exactly.
Jan: [putting away a tripod-mounted camera near the bed] I thought you said that you were gonna tidy things up.
Michael Scott: Well, I-
Jan: Shame on you.

Pam: What a cute bench.
Michael Scott: Thanks. That's my bed. Jan has, uh, some space issues, so I curl up on that puppy.
Jim: Really? 'Cause It seems pretty narrow and short.
Michael Scott: It's actually a lot bigger than it seems. Look at that!
Jan: See, he fits perfectly.

Michael Scott: How about a toast? Shall I? Here's to good friends.
Jim: Cheers.
Andy: Cheers.
Michael Scott: [drinking wine] Mmm. Kinda sorta an oaky afterbirth.
Jim: What was that?

Pam: I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party.

Jim: Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game. And it's called, "Let's see how uncomfortable we can make our guests." And they're both winning. So I am going to make a run for it.

Jim: You'll never guess. I just got a message from my landlord. Apparently, my apartment flooded. Something with the sprinkler.
Jan: Oh, no!
Jim: Pam, we should probably get going to see the damage.
Pam: Oh, okay.
Michael Scott: Well, you don't need two of you to do that.
Jim: That's true. Um, dinner sounded delicious. Pam, I'll see you at home. Thank you so much.
Pam: Oh, Jim, I don't think you're going to abandon this party here all by itself.
Jim: I don't know, because everything I own is there.
Pam: You can buy new stuff, but you can't buy a new party.
Michael Scott: That's true. That is a great point. Come on down here. Sit down on that couch and be amongst friends, and we're not gonna think about all your stuff being destroyed.

Michael Scott: So I spend most of my time right here. Have a hand. So, Jim, I noticed you checking out Jan's candles.
Jim: Oh, no, she just put it in front of my face.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Did you know that candles are the number one fastest-growing product in the scent aroma market? $2 billion a year industry. And for only $10,000, you could become a co-owner of "Serenity by Jan." What do you think about that?
Andy: Thought about it. I'm in.
Jim: I'm sorry, are you really trying to get us to invest in Jan's company?
Michael Scott: I'm sorry.

Jim: So... How do you guys know each other?
Dwight's babysitter: I was his babysitter.
Pam: And now you guys are dating?
Dwight K. Schrute: It's purely carnal, that's all you need to know.
Jim: Would you write down your email? Because I have just so many questions.
Dwight's babysitter: Email?
Jim: Never mind.