Dwight K. Schrute: Does it bother me that I wasn't invited to Michael's dinner party? [sobbing]

Michael Scott: So what have you been doing?
Jim: Let's see, since I saw you an hour ago?
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Jim: I have been getting ready, and then driving over here. So..
Michael Scott: Well, we've been doing pretty much the same thing.
Jim: Really?
Michael Scott: Except driving.

Michael Scott: Well, have a seat, or come on in or- I don't know, make yourself to home. This is our casa.

Jan: Smell.
Jim: It's fire.
Michael Scott: Bond.
Jan: Bonfire. Men love this one.
Michael Scott: James Bond fire! I am Bond fire, James Bond fire. Michael Scott!

Jan: When I get frustrated, or irritated or angry, I come up here and I just smell all my candles! And it just goes away.
Jim: Just like that.
Jan: Just like that.

Jim: Well, I saw- Oh, your Dundies. I'm surprised they're not out on a coffee table for everybody to see.
Jan: Well, it was between the neon beer sign and the Dundies, so I said, "Honey, keep the trophies."
Michael Scott: Oh, honey, I have the best trophy right here. Aside from my Dundies.

Andy: Tuna! What's up, Tuna? We gonna have some tuna for dinner? I bet you're sick of tuna, right? You probably tuna every night.
Jim: All right.
Andy: Tuna.

Andy: These are for you.
Jan: Oh, how thoughtful.
Michael Scott: Very nice.
Andy: Except for one flower, which is for my flower.
Angela: What am I supposed to do with this?

Jan: Cow.
Andy: No, it's a hump. There's a hump.
Jan: Joe Camel.
Andy: Yes! Okay, yes. First name of that animal, and the second name is the state where Helena is the capital.
Pam: Montana. Joe Montana?
Angela: Yes! Yes!
Michael Scott: Time's up!
Pam: Why don't say 49ers quarterbacks?

Angela: So you keep a very tidy house.
Jan: You should see our bathroom after Michael takes a bath. Whoo! But I don't need to tell you, Pam.
Pam: Oh, yeah... What?
Jan: Oh, don't tell me that he's really changed since you guys dated.
Pam: Oh, are you joking?
Jan: Michael told me a little bit about it, but I see the way you look at him.
Pam: I have never, ever dated or wanted to do anything resembling dating Michael, ever. Not ever, not now, not then, not now, not ever, ever.
Angela: I've noticed how you look at him at the office.
Jan: Uh-huh.