Dwight K. Schrute: We come fully equipped with a restroom. Feeding trough, play bucket, and room for a plant, in success.
Jim: Who will be watching the children?
Dwight K. Schrute: No one. The door locks from the outside. Escape is impossible.
Jim: Prove it.
Dwight K. Schrute: What?
Jim: Were going to head outside, give it a whirl. I just want to see how it works.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh no, no, no-
Jim: But I'll tell you this, if this works out, I think we're looking real good.
Dwight K. Schrute: I promise you, that door locks!

Toby: Michael has been assigned six hours of mandatory counseling with a trained professional. I actually have a degree in social work. I mean, I know a lot of people would ask a few standard questions, and check off a few boxes, but I've got a chance to do something good here.

Michael Scott: I know what you want to ask me. "Did your mom ever see you naked?"
Toby: We can do this with more privacy.
Michael Scott: So you can molest me?
Toby: Oh, okay.
Michael Scott: I don't think so. We're going to leave the blinds open so every one can see what a big failure you are. That's the key.

Phyllis: I'm glad Michael is getting help. He as a lot of issues, and he's stupid.

Andy: Did you call all of my clients at the mall and cancel all my business while using the "F" word?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes I did. And I'm going to do the same with all of your clients.
Stanley: No you will not.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, yes I will! That mall is corrupt. Okay, they're appearance-ists!

Andy: Did you assume that I would automatically side with the rich snobby shop owner? [removes cuff link] How about now? [removes other cuff link] How about now? [removes tie clip, unfolds shirt collar] How about now?

Oscar: Office Administrator. So when did this happen?
Pam: A few months ago. I was talking to someone at corporate, who isn't there anymore, and I think the paperwork just got lost in the shuffle. Can you believe that?
Oscar: Yeah, totally. Well, congrats!
Pam: Thanks! Yeah, so I'm just going to take care of things around the office and get paid a reasonable salary. You believe that, right?
Oscar: Totally, that's great.
Pam: I get paid $40,000 per year.
Oscar: Great.
Pam: Maybe $50,000.
Oscar: $50,000?
Pam: No, not $50,000, $41,000, I think. $41,500.
Oscar: That's great.

Kelly: You shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo.
Jim: Agreed.
Dwight K. Schrute: Really?
Oscar: Maybe something not so monochromatic. Not so matching.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait. Less matching to appear more rich?
Ryan: The glasses are a little- [Dwight drops his glasses to the floor, stomps on them]
Pam: I liked them.
Kelly: I thought they were kind of cute.
Ryan: Yeah, I liked them too.
Dwight K. Schrute: I can't see.

Darryl: Say stuff like, "Good morning, Good Afternoon". People appreciate that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait, I see you every day. Can I say "Good month?"
Darryl: I'm telling you how to do this man.
Andy: If someone offers you a cocktail, accept, but keep your wits about you.
Angela: Please and thank you go a long way.
Dwight K. Schrute: Copy. Thank you.
Angela: Thank you.
Dwight K. Schrute: Please.
Andy: [in a cockney accent] I think he's got it!

Pam: Hey, do you have a second?
Gabe: Yeah.
Pam: Well, as I am sure you know, for the past few months, I've been the Office Administrator. Since right before you guys took over.
Gabe: Right, of course!
Pam: And, I haven't gotten paid yet. I'm not blaming you.
Gabe: Thank you so much.
Pam: I just think somebody lost the paperwork.
Gabe: Oh boy. Can you get every department head's signature on this so I can back this up to corporate?
Pam: Yes. Absolutely. Right away.