Michael Scott: Hey there, Jada. Nice to see you again. I'm Santa Claus. Welcome.
Darryl: Are you serious?
Michael Scott: It's a sophisticated take.
Jada: He doesn't look like Santa Claus.
Darryl: No, he doesn't. [to Michael] I told her Santa would be here.
Michael Scott: Yeah, well, I was told that Holly would be here, single and ready to date. And we all got misled.
Pam: Who told you that?
Michael Scott: Nora Ephron, in every romantic comedy ever made.

Toby: I know people are only this excited to talk to me because of the trial. But, they talk to me for a while, and maybe people realize I have something to say. And then one day, we're just talking.

Angela: I don't know if you guys have had a chance to use the new parking meters that accept credit cards, but Robert was instrumental in that legislation.
Kevin: Wow, that's awesome!
Oscar: A real David and Goliath story.
Robert: I'm just so touched that she's so interested in my work.
Angela: I am.
Meredith: The real problem is the teachers' union.
Angela: Zip it, Meredith.
Meredith: No. You tell me why my kid is 17 and still can't read.

Pam: I've been working forever on Jim's present. He always gives me the best Christmas gifts. He'll take a memory or a private joke, and he'll create something totally unique. I love them. So this year I made him something. A comic book. It stars Jimmy Halpert, a mild-mannered paper salesman who, while riding his bike through the forest, is bitten by a radioactive bear, becomes 'bear man'. Wreaks havoc on the office. It's really good.

Pam: So, cool right?
Ryan: There's no connection between the origin story and the quest.
Pam: Okay.
Ryan: We need to know who Jimmy Halpert was before he was bitten by the bear. Otherwise, it's the bear's quest.
Pam: Okay, well, I just sorta meant, like, cute, right?
Ryan: Well, did you come here for help, or did you come here for me to tell you how great it is?
Pam: I mean, help, if it's something simple, like add page numbers or laminate it or...
Ryan: Well, it sounds like you know what you want. [as Pam walks away] It's also a little derivative of a serial called 'Bear Man'. Did you look that up?

Michael Scott: All this arguing reminds me of a very funny story. You see this on my desk? [he holds up a toy taxi cab] Know who gave me this? My girlfriend Tara, who lives in New York City.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait, what girlfriend?
Michael Scott: I haven't told you about her.
Dwight K. Schrute: I find that unlikely. You email me when you get a new zit.
Michael Scott: I'm a man in my mid-40s and I still get zits. I think that's pretty interesting. But you know what? I am not on trial here. The Scranton strangler is. So, anyway, we have this great weekend, and she drives me to the airport, and we get to JFK, but I am flying out of LaGuardia. So we laugh and laugh and laugh, and then we spend the rest of the day walking around slo-mo, drinking latte. And at the end of the day, she gives me this, and she says, "Michael, maybe next time, you should take a cab."
Holly: I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
Michael Scott: I do. She is.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Did you see her face? Well it seems to me that there is a person sitting out there in the annex that still has feelings for Michael G. Scott. And it ain't Tara.

Michael Scott: Don't run. You're going to slip.
Pam: That's good advice.
Michael Scott: I read this story about a woman who slipped on some black ice, and she hit her head and went into a coma forever. And then every day, her husband went and visited her in the hospital until she died.
Pam: That's a sad story.
Michael Scott: [voice breaking] Yeah, well, at least he was married.

Gabe: [to camera] Yes, Erin and I are still dating. Why do you ask me so often if we're still dating?

Creed: [about Holly Flax] She's one sassy black lady.

Pam: I'm the office administrator now, which means I'm basically being paid to be head of the party planning committee. The first thing I did as head, I shut it down. At its worst, it was a toxic political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best, it planned parties.