Andy: Every guy in this room has been touched by this affliction. Tuna? T-dog?
Jim: Um...
Darryl: Um... I have other issues. I'm terrible at math. Overweight. You- You're in great shape. A lot better shape than I am, tell you what.
Robert: It seems Andy is the only one with this problem. Fascinating.
Andy: Fascinating.
Gabe: I don't really see what the problem is. Erin doesn't even like sex, remember? You said it feels like getting tackled by a skeleton.

Pam: You're not the least bit curious to hear a poem straight from Ryan's soul?
Jim: Not at all, can we go?
Pam: "Kapoor and ka-desperate, he watches."
Jim: Second line.
Pam: "He is a drifter out to sea."
[later:]
Jim: "And when the Indian Ocean calms, one speck of white remains in waters cold and Kelly green."
Pam: It's just so dumb. [chokes up] But when he describes himself as a child, lost on the life raft...
[aside to camera:]
Jim: [teary-eyed] Uh, Ryan can never know.

Nellie: This meeting is not about any one person in particular. It is a human problem.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's not just a human problem. Flounders frequently experience impotence, especially when converting from male to female and then back again to male.
Robert: Really?
Oscar: Nellie, does the person affected by this want us to help her in any way in particular?
Nellie: Oh, oh, it's not me. No, no. I've never had any problem in that arena. And I have been with several older men.
Robert & Creed: [in unison] How old?
Creed: Jinx. Buy me some Coke.

Ryan: Hey, um, what's the deal with this guy? He's really into Kelly, huh?
Pam: Yeah, they're really great together.
Ryan: Maybe we weren't right together, but... it's weird. I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?
Jim: That's about it, yeah.

Robert: Nellie! You've been terrific in your interim capacity. But, Andrew is the rightful manager so if you would just give him his office-
Nellie: No.
Robert: I'm sorry?
Andy: This is what I was trying to tell you.
Robert: I'm not accustomed to people saying no to me. [laughs]
Nellie: Well, Bobby, get accustomed to it because then it feels so good when they finally say yes.

Ryan: I found this the other day while I was journaling and they reminded me of you.
Kelly: Oh, those are from our weekend at the time share.
Ryan: Yeah, the fractional ownership property. [sigh] Oh, we took this one right before we got in that huge fight.
Kelly: God I don't even remember what that fight was about.
Ryan: You were being really bratty about where we would go out to dinner. But all I remember is how pretty you looked, taking those pictures of me. Anyway, if you want to order prints of your own, I can send you the link.

Erin: When you lost the manager job-
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes?
Erin: Did it affect you outside of the office?
Dwight K. Schrute: How?
Erin: I don't know what the technical term is... Penial softiosis?
Dwight K. Schrute: Erin, I am so glad that you trusted me. You came to the exact right person for this. No, I have never once experienced anything remotely like that. Never.
Erin: Oh, okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay?
Erin: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Washington Monument.
Erin: Oh.
Dwight K. Schrute: Eiffel Tower.
Erin: Okay, okay.

Pam: I saw you were getting along with Ryan again.
Kelly: He's so sweet. He pointed to my latte and he said, "Kelly, that will be the color of our children."
Pam: Yeah, he's so great. Remember how it felt when he cheated on you though?
Kelly: Which time?

Pam: I am not going to let Kelly throw her life away on Ryan. And it has nothing to do with access to my pediatrician. Why you would even ask or were going to ask, because I- I felt like that question was coming.

Nellie: I just wanted to take the man's job, not his manhood.