‘The Wisdom Teeth’
Season 7, Episode 17 - Aired March 16, 2016
Frankie is excited to comfort and coddle Axl and Sue when they have their wisdom teeth taken out. When his siblings return home, Brick tries to lay down the law and insist he's in charge since they went off to college. Meanwhile, Mike is angry at his brother Rusty (Norm Macdonald) when his ex-wife Marlene claims she came up with the idea for the diaper business.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [answers phone] Oh, hey. How's it going with Marlene?
Mike: Not good. I think I'm on a double date.
Frankie: What?
Mike: Yeah, Marlene brought some crazy boozehound with her, and she's nuts. She's all over me.
Frankie: Well, you be nice to her. Dance with her, ask her questions about herself, be charming. Kiss her on the mouth if you have to. Just get that thing signed. Oh, and grab some bar napkins. We're out of toilet paper.
Quote from Rusty
Rusty: Mike, listen. Don't be mad, but I don't think I want to do your "killing her" plan anymore.
Mike: Rusty...
Rusty: Hey, you may not know this because of your wife, but women can be very seductive. Kissing Marlene made me realize I still have that old spark for her. We were in the bathroom stall and she was pulling...
Mike: I do not need to know!
Quote from Mike
Marlene: Look, you can sweet-talk me all you want, but it was my idea for people to wear a diaper to a sporting event. And if you've got some problem with women in the workplace, I might have to let you go.
Mike: You can't fire me 'cause that's... Wait, what was your idea?
Marlene: I missed three rounds of cage fighting 'cause I was stuck in the bathroom. So I told Rusty next time we should wear diapers to the match.
Mike: That's it? That's all you said? Well, who thought about the putting sports teams' logos on babies' diapers?
Rusty: Oh, that was all me. That was me.
Mike: Are you kidding me? I stayed up all night worrying about this, and all Marlene said was she wanted to wear a diaper to a stupid cage fight?
Marlene: If it wasn't for me, Rusty wouldn't have even been thinking about diapers.
Mike: Maybe, but that's two very different things. And if you like, I can get my wife's third cousin, who's a paralegal, on the phone, and she'd be very happy to explain that to you. Tell you what, Marlene. I'm gonna be very generous with you here. This is $37 and change for you to walk away for good. And that is more profit than you'd ever see from Li'I Rivals.
Quote from Sue
Axl: Okay, I got the best idea. Mashed potatoes in between two circles of Jell-O. Mm? Mashed Po-Jell-O sandwich.
Brick: I'm in.
Frankie: Sue, are you crying? Why are you crying?
Sue: Axl gave me a fork.
Mike: I thought she was off the painkillers.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] So, spring break didn't turn out how I thought it would. I didn't get to spend time with Axl and Sue, but I did get to spend time with Brick. Sometimes you think you're getting an Elvis, but you end up with an eagle. And eagles are pretty great, too.
Brick: This huge... whoa! [Brick falls off his chair] Ow.
Frankie: That's okay, honey. Mommy's here.