Brick: Well, apparently, this is what Axl left me to dry off with. [bangs starchy towel against table] I don't know why I ever thought I'd have any power in this house. So disappointing.
Frankie: Hey, you're a Heck. Disappointment is your birthright.
Brick: Hm.
Frankie: Here, dip some of these flowers. They're fun. They're from before the government banned chemicals.
Brick: Sure, why not?
Frankie: You know, I get it, Brick. I was so looking forward to the kids' dental surgery. It was gonna be a fun time for me. Remember when Axl broke his collarbone? That was such a good week. You know, I thought this was Elvis, but it's an eagle.

Mike: Are you telling me that the diapers were Marlene's idea?
Rusty: Uh, oh, yeah. [chuckles] But don't worry about that. I got another winner brewing, and it's all mine. It's the human hand back scratcher. I know a fella who works down in the morgue, and he can get me buckets of hands. And the great thing is the nails keep growing after you die. That's a true story.
Mike: Remember when we were little and I stopped you from drinking that Mop & Glo?
Rusty: Yeah.
Mike: Kind of regretting that right now.
Rusty: I wouldn't worry about it, Mike. She was pretty drunk yesterday. I bet she doesn't remember a thing. [a car drives straight up onto the lawn and crashes into the hedges] That might be her.

Frankie: Morning, sleepy head. Mommy's here. You're all done. It went great.
Axl: [mumbles] Where did I keep my-
Frankie: You've got gauze in your mouth, sweetheart. I can't understand you.
Sue: Why is Julia Roberts here? Did Julia Roberts do my surgery?
Frankie: That's not Julia Roberts, honey. I work with her.
Sue: You work with Julia Roberts?
Frankie: Let's get my little chickies back in the nest. Oh. All right, here we go, honey. [Axl stands up and stumbles into Frankie] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, yeah. That's so nice. Oh, just lean on me, honey. That's right, Mommy's got you.
Axl: Thank you, Mommy.

Frankie: Okay, I thought that when we get home, we can all snuggle up and watch the copy of Free Willy that we "forgot" to return to the video store before it went out of business. Ooh, and I dug up all the arts and crafts stuff from the basement. We are gonna have so much fun together this week, I promise.
Sue: Hm.
Axl: Thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. Na, na, na, na, na, na... Batman.

Sue: Hey. There's something in my mouth.
Frankie: Yeah, honey, that's supposed to be there. Just leave it.
Sue: It's gauze. Why is there gauze in my mouth? Why would Julia Roberts do that to me? [screams as she removes the bloody gauze]
Frankie: Sue. Sue, sweetie, put that back in.

[Brick tapes Axl and Sue with his camera phone]
Frankie: What are you doing?
Brick: I want to get them on tape agreeing to my new terms. Axl, Sue, repeat after me. We agree that Brick has total control over the house, and we are merely visitors.
Sue: Visitors, visitors, visitors. Isn't it weird how if you repeat a word over and over again, it loses its meaning? [laughs] Plaid, plaid, plaid.
Axl: Shh! Everybody, this is important. Did I say anything?
Brick: Come on, guys. We agree...
Frankie: Brick, now just stop it. Put it away. It's not nice to take advantage of them when they're all drugged up. Ooh, wait. Ask Axl if he's dating anyone first. Oh, and find out if he's the one that took my tweezers.

Frankie: Hey, guys. Who's up for Mom's famous raspberry Jell-O? See? Brick's lime, you're raspberry. I remember.

Sue: Oh, my God. I can't believe you said that. That is the nicest thing I've ever heard. I think I'm gonna cry. No, seriously, seriously, I think I'm gonna cry.
Axl: No, you're not 'cause that video is totally bogus.
Sue: No, it's not. You meant it. When your defenses were down, you weren't afraid to tell me that you loved me. Axl, that is so sweet!
Axl: [grabs Brick's phone] That is so gone! Deleted.
Sue: No!
Brick: My verbal agreement!
Sue: Axl, why would you do that?
Axl: 'Cause you were gonna make it your ring tone or post it to Instagram or something embarrassing like that.
Sue: I would not! Maybe I wanted it because it was nice, and maybe I wanted it just for me. But no, you had to ruin it because you ruin everything. Gah!

Sue: I want to talk to you. I think in the past, I would have let everything go because I am a very positive person, but this is the Year of Sue 2.0. So I'm just gonna say it. I am really upset you deleted that video.
Axl: Seriously? That was like eight hours ago. Get over it.
Sue: I just don't get it, Axl. What is so embarrassing about saying you love your sister?
Axl: Would you just leave me alone? I'm trying to take a nap.
Sue: No, you are 22 years old, Axl. Are you ever gonna grow out of this?
Axl: What?
Sue: I mean, are you afraid of being vulnerable?
Axl: Oh! Make it stop.

Sue: Ooh, that's it. Isn't it, Axl? You hide behind your little quips and your little digs, but you know what I think? I think you're nice.
Axl: Pffft!
Sue: I think you're sweet...
Axl: No.
Sue: And loving and a caring person who has feelings of affection for his family. And you just don't want anyone else to know it.
Axl: I'm not listening to this anymore.
Sue: No. You need to face yourself, Axl. I am your mirror. Look at me and face me.
Axl: If you were my mirror, I'd kill myself.
Sue: Aaah! See? Why did you say that? I know you love me. You love Brick. You love our family. Why do you think you come home from college all the time? Do you really need to do that much laundry? No, you are coming home because you miss us, and you want to be here. Say it, Axl. Say you love me.
Axl: No. Would you just stop it? Let me go.
Sue: There's nowhere else to even go. Just say it!
[Axl ducks out through the window]