Frankie: You know what? Maybe we've just said everything we've had to say to each other. You wanted to bring it, I wanted to bring it. Maybe there's just nothing to bring.
Mike: This is why we should never leave the couch. Let the cable company bring it.
Frankie: Yeah, that's fine for now. But when the kids leave, it's just gonna be you and me, and we're not gonna have anything to talk about. Then we're just gonna be two old people staring at each other.
Mike: We won't be alone. Brick will be here, jumbling up our meds.
Frankie: I'm just saying, if we want to have any prayer of an interesting life, we're gonna have to bring other people into it. You know what we should do? I know it's not your favorite thing, but I think we should have a dinner party. [Mike groans] You know, we used to have those Memorial Day barbecues every year. We put the keg on the porch. Remember? I mean, we used to be fun, social people, Mike. I've seen the pictures.
Mike: Hmm. I am pretty bored of talking to you.
Frankie: Exactly, and I'm totally sick of talking to you.
Mike: Sure. What the hell? Let's do it.

Brad: What?! Sue, you can't do this!
Sue: You know I would never, but it's Darrin. You know how I feel about Darrin.
Brad: Sue, you promised. Love affairs with thick-necked, handsome blond men will come and go, but best friendships are forever.
Sue: I know, and I wouldn't cancel if it was anybody else. Well, if your girlfriend from Canada would suddenly be able to go... Arena or Ariel...
Brad: It's Arena. It's definitely Arena. That's a real name.
Sue: Well, if she was suddenly able to go, you know I would be okay letting you go with her because that is what is so great about our friendship: we always want the best for each other.
Brad: [sighs] All right, fine. Go with Darrin.
Sue: Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Darrin: [on answer machine] Hey, Sue, it's Darrin. I wanted to talk to you about prom. When I asked you, I didn't realize you had so many dates. I was just trying to be nice, but you can take me off the list because, clearly, you've got a lot going on. And the truth is, I didn't really want to go anyway. I mean, I don't care about prom. I've been before. Like I said, I was just being nice. This is Darrin.

Axl: So, who's the unlucky guy you decided to go to prom with?
Sue: Actually, nobody. I am taking myself to prom. Just like Molly Ringwald in Pretty In Pink.
Axl: Hmm.
Sue: It's a very important movie from the '80s about self-acceptance.
Brick: Wait, I thought you were going with Darrin.
Sue: I was, but then I guess he decided he didn't want to go to prom after all. Oh, well. I'm off to prom. Will you take my picture? [Axl takes a picture of Sue on her camera phone] Thanks. [walks off]
Brick: I know I'm only 12, but that was the saddest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Axl: [sighs] Yeah.

Mike: What are you doing?
Frankie: Nothing. Just getting some coffee. What are you doing in here?
Mike: I don't know. Came to see what you were doing.
Frankie: Hmm. Well, I suppose one of us should be in there.
Mike: Why? We're just talking to each other. I think we've established we don't have anything to say to each other. Besides, they won't even know we're gone.
Frankie: Well, should we go back there and try to get in the mix?
Mike: Seems like a lot of work. Let's just take our foot off the pedal and coast to the grave.

Frankie: [v.o.] Sometimes, all it takes to feel better about yourselves is seeing somebody who's got it worse. Maybe behind closed doors, nobody's really bringing it. And as a bonus, it gave us plenty to talk about.
Frankie: Can you believe he talked to her like that?
Mike: Oh. I had no idea.
Frankie: You look at their house, and it's all perfect, but you don't know. You never know. I mean, it makes sense 'cause you know how controlling she is, so of course she is with him.
Mike: And he's out of town all the time. You got to wonder.
Frankie: You really do.
Mike: Did you hear what she said to him when they were leaving?
Frankie: Don't tell me yet. Save it. We'll take a walk tomorrow. You can tell me about it then.

Darrin: Hey, am I too late for the big book tipping? Did I miss it?
Axl: Yeah, you missed it. Whatever, Darrin. [goes to close the door]
Darrin: Hey. What's with you?
Axl: What's with me? I don't want to see your stupid face right now. That's what's with me.
Darrin: That's not very nice to say that about somebody's face. What did my face ever do to you?
Axl: You told my sister you were gonna take her to prom, and then, like, you just cancel on her last minute?
Darrin: What are you talking about? She has like a million dates.
Axl: No, she doesn't, Darrin. She went to prom alone, and she wanted to go with you, so nice goin'.
Darrin: She doesn't even like me.
Axl: Oh, my God. Are you an idiot? Do you not see how she gets those weird, googly eyes whenever you come over and grins like an idiot? It's completely disgusting and makes me want to vomit. But for whatever reason, she still really likes you, and you really hurt her, and that's not cool. You do not hurt my sister.
Darrin: I had no idea. [runs off]

Darrin: Sue!
Sue: Darrin?
Darrin: Hi.
Sue: What are you doing here?
Darrin: I came to take you to prom.
Sue: But I I got your message. I thought you didn't care about prom.
Darrin: I don't. I only care about you. I know it didn't work out last time and you told me to forget you, but the thing is, Sue, I can't. I think about you all the time. And I get up, and I think, "Okay, I will not think about Sue today." But then it backfires, 'cause I'm thinking about you even more, and... Aw, hell. [kisses Sue]

Sue: Oh, no. Am I over-chiving again?
Edwin: No, it's not about the chives. Although, you know with the chives, less is more. This is non-work related. I'm gonna take off my assistant-manager hat. I'm gonna talk to you as a fellow student of Orson High and a man. Anyway, I would like you to accompany me to the prom.
Sue: Really? [laughs] Yes! I'm going to prom! Whoo! [dances]
Edwin: Now back to work.
Sue: Yes.

Frankie: [v.o.] Dr. Oz says sitting is the new smoking, so Mike and I decided to haul our butts off the couch and take a walk. And while we may no longer be dying from sitting, dying from boredom was definitely a possibility. But then something amazing happened... Well, someone. Well, someones. I'm saying we ran into other people.
Vicki: Hey! Vicki from Mrs. Keats' class. Remember we sat next to each other at back to school night?
Frankie: Yeah, thanks so much for waking me up when I fell asleep.
Vicki: No problem.
Frankie: Hey, this is my husband, Mike.
Vicki: Hi. Nice to meet you. This is my husband, Dale.
Dale: Hey, I'm Dale.