Frankie: [to Dale] So, we get to my sister's house, and we can't work anything. 18 remotes, we couldn't turn on the TV. It was like the whole house was smarter than us. I swear, at one point, I think I heard the oven laughing at me.

Frankie: Hey, did I tell you we got those new rotary saliva ejectors at work?
Mike: Hm.
Frankie: Still gettin' spit on a lot, though. [sighs]
Mike: Got to get working on those taxes.
Frankie: Yep. Comes faster every year.
Mike: It does. [Frankie looks around for Vicki and Dale] They're not here, Frankie.

Sue: I'm so confused. I mean, Brad is an amazing friend and he has always been there for me, and he'll do my makeup. But Sean drove all the way down from Notre Dame just to take me. What do you think I should do? [Axl hits the remote to close the garage door] Oh. Ha ha. Very funny, Axl. You know, this is a very serious issue and a lot of people's feelings are at stake and you are not being very supportive!

Derrick Glossner: You. Me. Prom. Pick me up at 7:00. Show some leg.
Sue: Are you -- What- No, no, no, but I-I [Derrick knocks over their mailbox and takes their baseball bat] Ha. Yeah. Right.

Darrin: Hey, again.
Sue: Oh, hey.
Darrin: So, this is where the Heck laundry goes down, huh?
Sue: Yep, this is where the magic happens.
Darrin: I've seen the clean clothes, but you never get to see behind the scenes.
Sue: Very few have had the privilege.
Darrin: [chuckles] So, listen, I was thinking, you know, sometimes people don't always have dates to the prom. And I don't know if you do or you don't, but if you don't and you want to go, I'm around, so I could take you if you want.
Sue: Are you kidding me right now?!
Darrin: No, uh, but if you don't want to...
Sue: No. No, no, no, no, no. I do, I do, I do. I definitely, definitely do. I just have to check on a few things. But, yes. Yes, my answer is yes.

Diaper Glossner: Hey, lady, my brother said he can't take you to prom. He's in juvie.
Sue: What? Why? What'd he do?
Diaper Glossner: None of your damn business!

Sue: Hey, Edwin. So, listen, about prom-
Edwin: Oh, I know all about it. You didn't think I'd hear about you and Brad, the great hot-dog adventure guy?
Sue: Uh, what?
Edwin: Yeah, it's all over the food court. He's counter, I'm management. You had a good thing, and you blew it. You don't think I could've taken Kathy at Orange Julius? As soon as her lap-band kicks in, she's gonna be gorgeous. Oh, I was gonna tell you what the featured potato is for next month, but now you'll just have to find out with everyone else.

Darrin: Hey, I didn't know you were in town.
Sean: Yeah, I was doing a favor for my mom taking Sue to prom. I was happy to do it, but it turns out she's got like four other dates.
Darrin: Wait. Are you sure? 'Cause...
Sean: Yeah, that's what she said, four guys. But I'm fine. It's it's fine. I'm fine. I'll just smile through it just just like I smile through everything.

Ashley: Hey, Sue. Are you here alone?
Sue: Yeah.
Ashley: Me, too.
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, it wouldn't be prom if some poor Heck didn't end up going with Weird Ashley.

[After watching the video he shot with Brick where the camera was facing Axl the whole time]
Axl: Aah, grades don't really matter till high school anyway.