Frankie: So, listen. Usually I get two notices and then a pink one, but this time...
Sandra: Oh, I'm so sorry, doctor. There must be some error on our part. Let me check my computer. I see they've added some late charges, but of course I'll waive those.
Frankie: Oh. Excellent.
Sandra: And somehow they've dropped the "doctor" from your account. I'll just add that back in.
Frankie: Well, thank you, Sandra. I appreciate it. I mean, sure, it's just a title. A few little letters. But they do represent so much training and expertise. Now, can you put half on my Discover Card and half on my Kroger Card?

Dr. Goodwin: Frankie. Thank goodness you're here. We have a new patient coming in, the phone is ringing, and I didn't know what the "Hello, how are ya?" to do. [ringing stops]
Frankie: I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I-I know it's just my fifth day of work and you don't know me that well, but this is not who I am. I am not the late person.
Dr. Goodwin: It's just, if the person I hired to answer the phone isn't here to answer the phone, then... ring, ring. "Who's there?" "I don't know. No one's here to answer the phone."
Frankie: I know. I am so, so sorry.
Dr. Goodwin: I don't mean to be mean, but you should probably be here when you're supposed to be here, you know? Whew. Sorry things got heated there. Dr. Grouchy hasn't made an appearance in a while, but just, please, Frankie, pretty please, be on time. Ugh! There he is again.

Sue: [on the phone] Oh, Brad, I really don't feel well. I need you to search hives for me. I can't do it, 'cause it'll leave a trail on the computer, and if my parents check the history and see "hives," they'll know I ditched.
Brad: Sorry, Sue. I gotta get back to the assembly.
Sue: Wait, wait. What assembly?
Brad: Uh, only the surprise assembly. Everyone in school got out of Math and English to go to the gym to watch four college a cappella groups having a sing-off. I totally think the Testostitones are gonna take it. Also, reporters are here, and Carly and I got interviewed for the 6:00 news. I gotta get back in there, Sue. They're handing out free ice cream!

Sue: [on the phone] I'm desperate here, Brad. I need you to search stains. What gets out pop and salsa?
Brad: [mouth full] Hang on. I got a mouthful of pralines and cream.
Sue: Brad! My mom's gonna be home soon! Ugh! This is the worst day ever. [machine starts] Why did I think I needed to break out of my comfort zone? I love school. I love my egg! This is all Axl's fault. You know, he twisted the meanings of my posters all around. People can still climb mountains without skipping school. They just do it outside of school hours. [machine whirring loudly and rumbling] [machine stops] No! [yells]

Dr. Fulton: A-all right, Brick. I give up. If the Tribe of Truth doesn't work, I don't know what will. I've done everything a professional therapist can do to justify his job. I just don't get it. Why don't you want to go to middle school?
Brick: Oh. Was that what this was all about? Well, at the middle school, the handles on the water fountains are on the right, and I'm used to having them be on the left like they are here. It's kind of a big change, and I don't think I'm ready for it.
Dr. Fulton: That's what you're worried about? Water fountains? Brick, half the water fountains at the middle school don't even work. The place is a dump. I mean, if you're gonna worry about anything, it should be the asbestos.
Brick: What?
Dr. Fulton: Nothing-- no. No, no, no. It's fine. It's nothing worry about. It- You know, it's a silent killer.

Brick: I guess I'd feel better about middle school if I was going with my friend.
Dr. Fulton: Oh. Well, who's your friend?
Brick: You.
Dr. Fulton: Oh... [exhales] Wow, Brick. [exhales] Oh, God, I-I wish Shelly could hear this. [chuckles] Don't tell me I don't connect to kids. Maybe it's just 'cause your kids are a couple of hell-raisers.
Brick: Uh, what's that?
Dr. Fulton: Nothing. Nothing, Brick. But I have some good news. Yeah, due to the crushing defeat of the latest bond issue, I now have to do the work of three people. So... I am at the middle school Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Brick: You are? So we can keep hanging out?
Dr. Fulton: You got it, buddy.
Brick: And you'll...
Dr. Fulton: Yes, I'll talk to them about the water fountains.

Dr. Goodwin: What is going on with you? All day long you've been acting like a pardon my Frencha weirdo. I mean, I love the repeating game more than anybody, but I just don't think it's appropriate for work.
Frankie: [sighs] Okay, look. The truth is... I think this guy is stalking me. I saw him at the power company this morning, and now he's here.
Dr. Goodwin: I had no idea. Thank you for your honesty. Boy, I remember how nervous I was telling my dad, "Dad, I hate dentistry! I want to be a fireman!" But then I didn't pass the fireman test 'cause I had a bad eye. This one's glass. It's not. But I wish it was, then I wouldn't have to be a dentist. [inhales sharply] Hey. Maybe I should just "drop him" from the practice so you don't have to see him again.
Frankie: You know, I think that would be best. We don't need that kind of crazy around here.
Frankie: [v.o.] Well, it's true what they say. He who lies once finds it much easier to lie again. I read that on a poster somewhere probably in Sue's room. You know, I'm starting to understand how Lance Armstrong got in so deep.

Frankie: [v.o.] It's funny. You think you know what your family does when they walk out the door every morning, but you know what? You don't always know everything.
Frankie: [mouth full] So how was everybody's day?
Brick: The test was good. Nothing special.
Sue: Normal day.
Axl: [mouth full] Fishing was good.
Mike: [mouth full] Yep. How was work?
Frankie: You know. Work's work.
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep. These were gonna be great stories-- someday. But not today.
[title: "Mike never looked at another woman again." "Axl went on to look at many of them." "Brick went on to middle school, but did not get into the honors program because he failed to use a number two pencil." "Sue made herself so sick, she couldn't go to school for two days and missed a surprise visit by Katie Couric." "Dr. Frankie Heck never practiced fake medicine again and paid her bills on time... mostly."]

Frankie: Ugh! Are you serious? Only one person working? Oh, this is ridiculous.
Carrie: I know, right?
Frankie: [groans] I really cannot be late.
Carrie: You know, my job's not nearly as important as yours. You go ahead, doctor.
Frankie: Well, thank you. [chuckles] Thank you so much.

Mr. Walker: Remember to fill in your circles completely. Not an "X," not a scribble, not a... Brick, what are you doing? This test is very important. It determines what track you'll be on in middle school.
Brick: Oh, that's okay. I've decided I'm not going to middle school.