Frankie: [v.o.] I was still mad at Mike, but I have a pretty good poker face.
Mike: Frankie, you weren't there. You weren't at the pool. She was bad. She was Rhythmic Dance Team tryout bad.
Frankie: All right, well, just because she sucks doesn't mean you should tell her that. What do you think that does for her self-esteem?
Mike: [scoffs] I thought I was taking them to the pool. If I had known it'd be anything about self-esteem, I wouldn't have done it. [Axl smiles] What do you want?
Axl: Five feet, Dad.
[Mike shoves Axl outside and closes the sliding door]
Mike: What should I have done, Frankie? Lie to her? Since when did the truth be a bad thing?
Frankie: Sue's a sensitive young girl who needs to be treated delicately. Her emotions are right on the surface. She's not Axl. [Axl rubs his face against the glass door] We're her parents, Mike. It's our job to cheer her on, no matter what.
Mike: I love my daughter and I'm not going to have her made fun of. If someone's gonna dash her hopes, damn it, it should be her family.

Man: [on PA] Frankie, your husband is on Line 1. He wants to take a shower and needs you on the line with Axl till he's out.
Frankie: Hey, that is his punishment! Tell him to make Axl put on a bathing suit and get in there with him! [man sighs on PA]

Mr. Ehlert: So how many jellybeans are in there?
Frankie: [v.o.] Okay, so we forgot the little detail of counting the jellybeans. I wasn't going to let that set us back. There's a solution for everything.
Brick: Four hundred twenty-five thousand three hundred sixty-two jellybeans.
Bob: Wow.
Frankie: [v.o.] Isn't he smart? He is so smart. Damn it, he deserves a book.

Frankie: [whispers] Psst! Kid. Yeah, come here. How would you like to check out this book for me on your card, huh? No, no, you don't have to tell anybody. It'll just be our little secret.
Boy: I don't know.
Frankie: Oh, come on, what's gonna happen? Nothing. I promise. I have jellybeans.
Boy: Okay.
Frankie: Great. Here. And remember, don't take candy from strangers. I mean, I'm okay, but in the future, don't do it. I'll be waiting for you in the bushes.

Frankie: You should be thanking me. Listen, smart consumers, they're the kids who are popular. [cell phone rings] Brick, shake those unmarked cans and see if you can find peas, okay? We're listening for peas, people.

Frankie: Okay, kids, new plan. I gotta get to work early.
Sue: But what about the pool? You promised you'd watch me practice for swim tryouts.
Brick: And you said you would take me to the library. The Wheel of Nuldoid. I have to check it out before anybody else gets it. You promised. [whispers] Promised.
Frankie: Okay, I know I didn't promise that many things. I'm not that nice. Listen, we'll swing by the library... and when your father gets home, he'll take you to the pool. But if you ever wanna eat name-brand food again, I have to get to work. Let's move it.

Brick: I love this book, I love this book, I love this book.
Axl: I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life.
Frankie: You got 5 feet, mister. Use all of it.

Frankie: Hi, guys. Did you have fun at the pool?
Sue: [sobs] Dad said that I suck at swimming and I shouldn't try out for Swim Team.
Mike: And then I bought you a Creamsicle.

Sue: Mom, Dad, guess what. They did an eye test today at school and I need glasses.
Frankie: [v.o.] In retrospect, I guess there were signs.
[flashback to Sue being handed a popsicle]
Sue: Oh, I only want one. I don't need both of them. But thanks.
[flashback to Sue running to answer the phone]
Sue: Oh, I got it. [runs into wall]
[present:]
Sue: Isn't it exciting? I've always wanted glasses. [chuckles]

Frankie: Mike, don't you see what this means?
Mike: That we're never getting a new dryer?
Frankie: No, this explains why Sue never makes anything. She's blind. Oh, Mike. See, you never know what'll happen in life. That's why you don't dash someone's dreams.
Mike: Right. That's why you kept... [notices Axl straying out of bounds] Hey!