Sue: Aw! It's Brick's second grade diorama!
Frankie: Aw.
Sue: Mom! How can you just throw that out? It's a beloved memento from your youngest son's childhood.
Frankie: Brick, you remember your diorama, right?
Brick: Yeah.
Frankie: Attaboy, Brick. Way to be heartless. Mike, what are you doin'? You can't put your coffee mug on the table. It's a clean zone now. It's been inoculated. One mug, one magazine, one backpack is permission for the whole thing to go south again.
Mike: Oh, that's nuts. Me putting my mug down is not gonna... [the table is littered again]

Axl: Dude, mom, it's 3:00 and I'm still starving.
Sue: You said we'd be done by now, and it's getting worse instead of better.
Frankie: Well, I can't make anybody lunch if I can't get to the fridge, now can I?
Mike: I say we clear one path to the fridge and one to the bathroom, and call it.
Frankie: You're right. This isn't working. You know what we're gonna do? We're going full Oprah. Everything goes outside in the yard. Nothing comes back through the front door unless you convince me that you truly love it and need it.
Axl: Sue, go outside.
Sue: Mom!

Axl: Hey. Did mom say you could bring those in?
Sue: Did mom say you could eat that candy bar?
Axl: I found it under the couch.

Axl: Why do you even need those stupid curlers? They're broken anyway.
Sue: I've had them since fourth grade.
Axl: What, are you afraid you're gonna hurt their feelings if you throw 'em out? [Sue whimpers] What? I-I was kidding. Oh, my God! Sue thinks her curlers have feelings!
Sue: No, I don't!
Axl: Really? What if I did this?
Sue: No, no.
Axl: [picks up a curler and whimpers]
Sue: Stop it. Stop it! You're scaring it!
Axl: Scaring it? Oh, my God. This just gets better and better.
Sue: No.No, Axl. Axl, give them back! Give them back right now! Hey. Stop! Stop! Stop!
Axl: You can save one. Which one will it be, Sue? This one? Or this one?
Sue: Please don't make me choose! Look, look, I know it's silly, but I used to put them in my hair in a different order each time so that none of them felt left out.
Axl: Oh! I'm sorry, Sue. I didn't know... You were out of your freaking mind!

Frankie: Come on. If you're not gonna support my van plan, help clear the stuff off the bed so we have someplace to sleep.
Mike: Hey, all this crap is your stuff, not mine. All I got is maybe six things in that box over there. I'm van-ready all the time.
Frankie: Ooh, Mike only has six things. What do you want? A medal?
Mike: Sure. Give it to me, I'll throw it away.

[Brick puts his cash in his briefcase and puts up a sign reading "Back in 30"]
Boy: Word in the park says you can answer any question.
Brick: I was headed to lunch, but I got 30 seconds. What's your question?
Boy: Why are my parents getting a divorce?

Frankie: Guys, come on. I told you to take this stuff to the donation place hours ago.
Axl: It's Sue's fault. She's been going back and forth on those curlers all day. She thinks they're alive.
Sue: I didn't say they're alive! I said they have feelings! [to Frankie] I know they don't. It's just... I can't get rid of them, because then they might feel bad. Which is ridiculous, 'cause they don't have feelings. I just don't want them to feel abandoned, you know?
Frankie: Well, Sue, don't think of it as abandoning them. You're donating them. And somewhere out there is a homeless man with straight hair, who will use these to curl his locks, get a job and change his life.
Sue: Really? Okay.
Frankie: [to Axl] Quick, run these to the car before she changes her mind.

Frankie: [v.o.] Meanwhile, Brick was a bit thrown by the question from his latest client, but Brick being Brick, he turned to the wisdom of the ages.
[Brick reads "Her Style" magazine]

Sue: Oh, no. Closed?! Ugh. Now we're gonna have to load everything back up.
Axl: No way. Let's just dump and run.
Sue: But... but the sign says, "do not leave items after hours."
Axl: There's no way we're carting all this crap back home. Stop wussing out and help me.
Man: [over PA] Do not leave items after hours.
Sue: Oh, no. They're watching us.
Axl: Chill. It's just a recording.
Man: [over PA] This is not just a recording. You, boy with the red tricycle, girl with the straight hair, it is illegal to leave items after hours, per Indiana penal code 35-45, section 3.
Sue: Um, I'm sorry. It's just... We've come all this way and...
Axl: Screw 'em! We're done! Let's blow!
Sue: We're really good kids! I promise! Oh, no! I was going to leave a note for whoever got the curlers. You have to jiggle the plug. You have to jiggle the plug!

Mike: Frankie, it's a stupid paper from 20 years ago. Let it go.
Frankie: Let it go? The blender has more pros than me!
Mike: Well, the blender crushes ice and turns off when I want it to.
Frankie: Oh, well, I'm sorry. Am I being too chatty? Look, it's crazy that you even had to make a list to decide to marry me in the first place, considering...
Mike: Considering what?
Frankie: Considering who you were back then, the level of women you dated... Let's just say you we pretty lucky to land me.
Mike: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you saying I married up?
Frankie: And Bingo was his name-o.
Mike: Oh, and you got nothin' out of this deal?
Frankie: Oh, I got something. I got a lifetime full of toenail clippings in my People magazine!