Mike: Hang on. Your list was based on 18 years of marriage. Mine's from six months of dating. But we're allowed to go there? 'Cause I'll go there.
Frankie: Then go there.
Mike: I'm not going there.

Sue: Axl, did you hear that? They're coming to arrest us.
Axl: For what?
Sue: Penal code 35-45, section 3. We need to get our story straight.
Axl: Okay. Here's the story. We went to donate to charity, and... We did. Hope we don't get the chair.
Sue: But the sign... And the voice. Oh, that voice, it haunts me! Maybe we should tell mom and dad.
Axl: There's nothing to tell! Except that Spring Break was a major suck fest!
Sue: Well, just so you know, whatever happens, I got your back.
Axl: Sorry, Sue. I'd love to talk to you about this more, but my stapler's feeling pretty left out, so I got to go spend some time with it.

Brick: Mom! Dad!
Frankie: What?!
Brick: Why do people get divorced?
Frankie: Oh, honey. Sweetie. We're not getting divorced. No, your dad and I love each other very much. See? [kisses Mike]
Mike: Yeah, Brick. Your mom and I aren't really fighting.
Brick: Oh, I wasn't asking about you guys. It's for work. But I see you're busy.

Frankie: [v.o.] See, that's why you shouldn't digging up the past. Dust flies, stuff gets uncovered, things get said. And some things are just better buried and forgotten. [doorbell rings]
Sue: I'll get it!
[When Sue opens the door to two police officers, she gasps and then holds her hands out to be cuffed]
Frankie: Hi, officers. What's going on?
Police Officer #2: Good news, Mrs. Heck. We found your stuff. The criminals just dumped it all in an alley.
Axl: The criminals who robbed us. Heh. Remember, Mom?
Police Officer #1: Fortunately, some of it was labeled with your name. It's a slow day, so we loaded up a few cruisers and brought it all back. Hey, guys.
Frankie: All of it? That's just great.