Axl: My bed's done!
Mike: You had all these in your room, and you still watched me eat pot roast out of a measuring cup last night?
Frankie: Uh, you think you might need this biology book tomorrow?
Axl: Ha. Spring break. No school tomorrow. Burn.
Frankie: What about next week?
Axl: I'm living for the life I'm living today.

Sue: Axl! You're really gonna give away the "best brother" Oscar I gave you? You beat out Brick for it!
Brick: It was an honor just to be nominated.
Axl: One word... Buddha-ism. I don't need things. I can walk away from all this in a heartbeat, even you guys. I'll just wander the earth as a peaceful nomad doing good deeds. [knocks the box of jisgaw pieces Sue is holding]

Frankie: [v.o.] As always, Oprah was right. Things were starting to look a little better... Inside.
Mike: Yep, I'm sure this is how Oprah spends her Sundays, too. Where do you want this thing anyway?
Axl: I found a bunch of m80s. Let's blow it up.
Frankie: Just put it on the curb. Somebody will take it.
[As Brick sits on the curb on top of an old microwave with a box of papers, Mike and Axl set the desk down in front of him]
Man: [pulls up] Excuse me. I'm looking for Oak Street.
Brick: Oh, okay. What you want to do is turn left at the sign, go three blocks, veer right, then make the second left.
Man: Thanks.

Frankie: Guys, stop standing around. Come on now. There's no time for talking. If we focus, we can finish by dinner.
Mike: All right. It's midnight. I'm calling this thing. Everybody in. We'll finish tomorrow.
Frankie: But what if somebody takes our stuff?
Mike: Then we'd be lucky.

Frankie: [v.o.] But nobody took anything. In fact, we woke up the next morning to even more stuff.
Frankie: A cat carrier? We never had a cat. Other people are dumping their stuff.
Frankie: [v.o.] And we didn't finish that day, either. After other people started dumping, we moved the stuff from the yard back into the family room. On the third day, it moved into the kitchen. By the fourth day, we all went a little crazy.
Frankie: We are never gonna get rid of all this stuff! You know what we have to do? We have to get rid of ourselves. Seriously. We'll just walk away and live in a van. Yeah, we'll just travel around the country and... and learn about each other, and barter for things and food, and not fill our lives with possessions. Fill our van with love.

Frankie: Let me just see what six things made it into your special box. Oh. Floorboard from the I.U. Assembly hall I gave you for Father's Day. That's nice. Sports Illustrated from when the Colts won the Super Bowl. Okay. "Pro-con: riding lawn mower." What's this?
Mike: Oh, that's my decision list. I do one for every big decision I got to make.
Frankie: "Pro... 25 horsepower. Con... less exercise." You actually kept this?
Mike: Sure. That way I can go back and look at it in case I ever want to get another mower.
Frankie: Really? That's so cute. Oh... "Pro-con deck sealant"... "Pro-con blender"... "Pro-con marry Frankie"?
Mike: Oh, yeah. [chuckles] Uh-oh.

Frankie: Seriously, Mike? You made a pro and con list about marrying me?
Mike: You know, you should be flattered that I took the time to mull it over.
Frankie: A woman doesn't want to be mulled over, Mike. She wants to think her husband just went with his heart.
Mike: And how many things that you bought with your heart are we throwing out right now? No, no... pro-con. That's how I do things. That's my system.
Frankie: Okay. Fine. Let's see why you wanted to marry me, hmm? Pro number one: tax break. Tax break?!
Mike: It's an all-inclusive list in no particular order.
Frankie: Number two: "Likes Reservoir Dogs." Well, we both know that's a lie. Three: "pretty." Four... "Great at"... You didn't even finish this one. What exactly am I great at?
Mike: Letting things go?
Frankie: Okay. There's only four pros on this list. Actually, only three and a half 'cause the last one you didn't even finish, and there's, like, 15 cons!
Mike: I said you were pretty.

Frankie: Cons.
Mike: Oh, let's not do this.
Frankie: "Chatty".
Mike: That was back when I thought I had to listen to everything you said.
Frankie: "Loud"?
Mike: Now that comes in handy for yelling at the kids.
Frankie: All right. I'll give you that one. "Cries"?
Mike: Got to be honest with you, still not a fan.
Frankie: "The wine dance"? It's called seduction, Mike.
Mike: Look, this was you 20 years ago. It's got nothing to do with you today, so let's just give it here.
Frankie: No, no, no. Let's keep reading. I'm really having fun learning how you think. "Good mother?"
Mike: But now we know that you are one, so let's just turn that question mark into an arrow and send it over to the pro. Or, even better... We're trying to get rid of stuff? Let's just get rid of the list!
Frankie: Oh, no, no, no. I think you should keep it, just in case you ever want to get another wife.

Mike: You absolutely do that! You do it all the time.
Frankie: Do you ever stop to think that maybe I'm busy doing something? Like vacuuming the whole family room for Sue's birthday so that we won't be embarrassed in front of the neighbors?
Mike: Oh, you're worried about being embarrassed in front of a bunch of little girls, but you're not embarrassed by the cement geese on our front porch!
Frankie: They're whimsical!
Mike: They're not so whimsical when I smashed into 'em with my bare feet, and I'm hopping around the house bleeding, trying to find a Band-Aid!
Frankie: Yeah, well, buy a Band-Aid for once in your life! You never buy Band-Aids! You never buy anything!
Mike: I buy Band-Aids, but they're never the right kind!
Frankie: Yeah, you buy the cheap ones that float off in the tub and clog the drain!
Mike: What do you know about the drain? When have you ever unclogged the drain? Do you even know where the wrench is? Where's the wrench, Frankie? Where's the wrench?
Frankie: If I knew where the stupid wrench is, what the hell do I need you for?!

Frankie: Pay attention to the box names, people. The inflatable foot bath is not "keep." It's "charity." And I think the needy have enough problems without drinking our expired cough syrup.