Sue: You know, I went on kickinitteenstyle.com and took the "Rate Your Assignment Partner" quiz, and you are a "severe collaboration limitation."
Axl: With no due respect, I disagree.
Sue: I thought you might say something like that, so I also ranked you on the sibling scale, and guess what? You're a "bummer brother." So... yeah.
Axl: Whatever. This whole thing is lame. Except kitchen floor hoops, which I just invented, and is totally awesome.
Sue: I know you fancy yourself some kind of rebel, Axl, but sometimes in life, you just have to follow the rules. I put on sunscreen an hour before going outside. I wait till the bus comes to a complete stop before standing. You don't think I would love to fill up on bread? I would. But that's not how the world works. The rule of this project is that you and I take the allotted two weeks and do it together. And that's just what we're gonna do, mister. 'Cause a "D" might fly in Ax Land, but it doesn't work in Sue City. And not the one in Iowa. The one right here.

Frankie: Sue, are you okay?
Sue: No, not at all. All of a sudden, Matt's turned into the world's worst kisser.
Frankie: What do you mean?
Sue: Out of nowhere, he puts his... his tongue... into... my mouth. Oh, my God. What is that? Who does that?
Frankie: Well...
Sue: I can't help but feel bad for him. It's like he totally forgot how to kiss. I mean, what place does a tongue have in kissing? What should I do? I mean, I don't want to embarrass him, but he has to be told. [gasps] Wait. I think I saw something on kickinitteenstyle.com on how to tell your boyfriend he's a bad kisser. I'm gonna go check it out.
Frankie: [v.o.] I really need to talk to Sue more.

Frankie: Okay, Aunt Edie. I finally got her to go. She went number three, so... I'm just gonna change her diaper, bleach my hands, and then hit the road. [gasps] What the-- Aunt Edie! [puts out kitchen fire] Aunt Edie... [carries the frying pan over to Aunt Edie]
Aunt Edie: Oh, no, thank you, dear. I couldn't eat a thing.
Frankie: Aunt Edie, I don't know if you're okay here by yourself anymore. I'm worried about you.
Aunt Edie: I'm worried about you. You'll never get a man if you can't cook.
Frankie: You know, if you ever get confused, you can always call. Remember we bought you this new phone? There's pictures of me and Janet and mom on it. So if you ever need help, or you just want to talk to me, all you have to do is push my face.
Aunt Edie: [pushes Frankie's face, literally] Hello?

Frankie: [v.o.] The first warm day of spring. After being cooped up all winter, kids all over America are bouncing off the walls to get outside... Except one.
Brick: [Mike opens the curtains] Ah!
Mike: Come on, Brick. It's a nice day. Go outside.
Brick: Why are you punishing me?
Mike: You're not being punished. You should want to go outside and play.
Brick: No, thanks.
Mike: Okay, then you're being punished. Go outside. Ah, no book.
Brick: What do kids even do outside?
Mike: I don't know. Run, frolic, poke something with a stick...

Brick: Well, I have terrible news.
Frankie: You've come to the right place.
Brick: The library's closing due to budget cuts.
Frankie: Oh, no. That's where I dump you all summer for free babysitting.

Brick: What's happening to me? First the tick, then the library closing... [Mike takes the flyer out of Brick's hand] Then the paper cut I just got. As soon as I got this clover, my life started falling apart. If you think about it, there's really only one plausible explanation. This clover is evil. [whispers] Evil. [throws it outside]