Frankie: Listen. She stopped.
Mike: Hmm? Well, not for long. We're about to hit that bump on Northaven.
Frankie: Oh. [inhales sharply] Huh.
Mike: Yeah, they must have paved it.
Frankie: Hmm. [voice breaking] They paved the bump. [sobbing]
Mike: [chuckles] Come on. We just got that one to stop crying.

Brick: I need to make an announcement, and I'd like you by my side.
Cindy: It depends on what you say.
Brick: I knew I could count on you. [at the front of the room] I have a brief statement... and then I'll take questions. It's been an amazing nine weeks, but it's with a heavy heart that I must step down. I have found another more worthy of the mantle. And so, I leave Font Club in the hands of Gibson... something. Or something Gibson. I don't know if that's his first or last name. God bless you all. And God bless Font Club. I will now take questions.
Judah: Do we still get credit?
Troy: No more questions. [Brick, Cindy and Troy start to walk out]
Gibson: Wait. I can't be president. I don't even go here. I'm in eighth grade. The only reason I'm here is 'cause my mom's the computer teacher, and she makes me walk over from the middle school so she can drive me home.
Brick: [returns to the front of the room] Never mind.

Brick: Who's the bald guy?
Frankie: It's the neighbors' baby.
Brick: Ah. I knew it wasn't yours, 'cause of your shriveled ovaries. The walls are very thin here, Mom.

Frankie: [baby cries] Come on, baby, look at the keys! [inhales sharply] Look at the keys! [sternly] Look at the keys.

Sean: So, I've been sitting here this whole time just looking at you and thinking you look like someone, and now I know who... Snow White.
Lexie: You've been staring at me this whole dinner, and the best you can come up with is a cartoon character?
Sean: A very pretty cartoon character.
Sue: I was Belle for Halloween once! [awkward laughing]

Lexie: Oops! You dropped your fork. [whispers] So, Sean? Are you guys like...?
Sue: What?! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's like an older brother to me.
Lexie: So you wouldn't mind if I...?
Sue: Pbht! Sorry. I spit on you. That is how strongly I wouldn't mind. Of course not. You go for it, girl. [hits head on table]

Axl: Look at this. My breadstick is a moustache. Right?
Lexie: So, Sean, which out of the five schools is your favorite?
Sean: Uh, well, I love Duke. They've got a great Med-Peds program, and they have killer architecture.
Lexie: Uh, sorry, I don't believe that they have the Gumford Gazebo. It was built by Ezekiel Gumford in 1882. And after the big flood, they rebuilt it, and now it's half-plastic.
Sean: Wow, that could really tip the scales. I'll have to check that out.
Lexie: Oh, well, I'm done.
Sean: Let's go.
Sue: I give tours to prospective students, so... Or you can just go yourself. Okay.

Lexie: Wow. You're still up.
Sue: Well, yeah. So, how was it? What'd you do? How'd it go?
Lexie: Great. We walked around campus, then we got coffee.
Sue: Mm!
Lexie: He's kind of perfect.
Sue: Ahh! I'm so happy! Look how happy I am!
Lexie: It's just he's a lot like every other guy I've dated. And I don't know if that's what I want right now.
Sue: Oh! Ohh. Ohh, yeah. Oh, okay. Well, sure. Ohh.
Lexie: I feel like I'm at a point where I need to date a bad boy.
Sue: Oh, yeah, I totally get that... like someone who drives with one hand.
Lexie: I just want to be with a guy who doesn't have his life all figured out already, you know?
Sue: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Axl: Hey, Doctor. How'd it go? Did you write her a prescription for love?
Sean: [laughs] Man, she's beautiful and smart.
Axl: I get it. She's smart. She's a smart girl. But when did we as a society decide that that was important?
Sean: [sighs] It's just that... I don't know, about halfway through the night, I started thinking, "What am I doing? I'm going to med school. I can't get involved with anybody now."
[cut to Sue and Lexie:]
Sue: Oh, that's too bad. You guys would have been great together.
[back to Axl and Sean:]
Axl: That sucks, man. You guys would have been great together.
[Sue and Lexie:]
Lexie: Aw. Do you feel like ice cream? I feel like ice cream.
Sue: Um... I think we might be out.

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, there's nothing like a car ride to put a baby to sleep. And it works pretty well on old people, too.
Dierdre: [taps on car window] Uh, hello?
Frankie: [wakes up] Oh, hi. Yeah. We were just all going out for a pancake breakfast.
Dierdre: It's 1:00 in the afternoon.
Mike: Sorry. [clears throat] It's been a while since we did this.
Dierdre: You know what? I don't even care. I had the best night of my life. Brad Paisley did three encores, I had six margaritas, Steve and I made out in the parking lot, and I threw up on the hood. I felt 32 again! Thank you, really. Thank you. All right. I got to go get the other ones. [walks off]
Frankie: Aww. She has four little kids.
Mike: You know what she doesn't have? Time for pancakes.
Frankie: Yes.