Axl: [on video chat] I'm screwed out of my apartment thanks to you.
Frankie: What? What are you talking about?
Axl: The landlord told me this morning he needed a deposit by 3:00 today, but I couldn't talk to you until 5:00 'cause of your stupid office hours. And it was above a tanning salon. Way to go, Mom!
Frankie: Axl, that is ridiculous. If you needed that check by 3:00, you should have called me and told me.
Axl: But that's not what you said. You said we could only talk to you during office hours. You keep changing the rules.
Frankie: I'm not changing the rules. Obviously, if there's a real problem, I will deal with it outside of office hours.
Axl: Well, how are we supposed to know that? Face it, this is all your fault!
Frankie: It is not my fault! Axl, you are old enough to realize that... You know what? Forget it. I'm done. The office is closed.

Brick: Hello? I don't think I got a firm answer on the fabric store.
Sue: And I never got an answer if you're gonna talk to Dad or not. You know, Axl had girls over all the time, and he never confronted them. Axl, tell her. Tell her! Tell her. Tell her!
Frankie: Okay, everybody just needs to calm down and give me a minute.
Axl: [on video chat] No, no, no. This is our time now. You can't take one of our minutes.
Brick: Come on, Mom. Silligan noses don't grow on trees. Actually, they do in one book, but...

Frankie: [sighs] Oh, crap, I'm late for work.
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, there's no such thing as office hours when you've got kids. That's just how parenting is. It's always uncomfortable. It's often a bad time. And it's forever.
Bob: Frankie?
Mr. Ehlert: What the hell are you doing here?
Frankie: [sighs]

Mike: What are you doing?
Frankie: Oh, Dr. Goodwin wants coffee for the waiting room. I told him I'd bring this in, but I keep forgetting it.
Mike: Does he want you to clean it with a toilet brush?
Frankie: Relax, this is brand-new I bought specifically for this. Yeah, I... [sniffs] Yeah.

Axl: [on video chat] Tick-tock, people. My notes?! Hello?! Come on.
Frankie: What, Axl? What exactly are you looking for?
Axl: Just walk me around. I'll know it when I see it.
Brick: Oh, and for the crackers, nothing with seeds. Are you writing this down?
Axl: Nope. Nope. Man, this place is a mess.
Sue: And write down to remember to switch my appointment, but not before 3:30.
Frankie: Got it. Got it. Crackers, seeds, 3:30.

Frankie: [v.o.] Now that they were officially dating, Sue and Darrin were seeing a lot more of each other... which meant we were also seeing a lot more of Sue and Darrin.
Sue: Oh, my God, Darrin. You have crazy-long eyelashes.
Darrin: Oh, no, they're not so long.
Sue: No, they are. Look at them! [laughs] You can't look at your own eyes. [laughs]
Darrin: I love how you scrunch your nose when you laugh. [Mike turns the TV up] You have the cutest laugh.
Sue: I do not. [laughs]
Darrin: Yes, you do.
Sue: Stop. [laughs]
Darrin: I'm serious. It's adorable.
Mike: He's got crazy-long eyelashes, and you've got the cutest laugh. There. It's settled.

Tina: See you, Frankie.
Frankie: Have a good night, Tina.
Tina: Thanks, you too. Oh, hey, you need a ride?
Frankie: No, I'm good. My neighbor's coming to get me. People really rally around you when your car gets stolen. [off her look] Oh, you didn't hear? Last week, right here from this parking lot in broad daylight. I mean, it's just so shocking that something like this would happen. I can't believe someone would steal my car.
Tina: You mean the blue one with the scratch on the side?
Frankie: Mm-hmm.
Tina: It's in the back. It's been parked there all week.
Frankie: [chuckles]

Darrin: D-A-R-- Darrin.
Sue: Oh, you're so good at this!
Darrin: Thanks. It's funny 'cause I'm a terrible real speller but a really good arm speller.

Mike: I know we said no boys in the bedroom, but maybe we should rethink it 'cause I got to get him out of my family room. Maybe if Sue leaves the door open?

Frankie: [v.o.] So while everyone was all over me, Mike made it his job to make sure no one was all over Sue. [Sue laughs] He lifted the ban against boys in Sue's room on the one condition that her door stay open. [Sue laughs] The only problem with an open door is you could hear everything.
Sue: [o.s.] You want me to tickle your arm again?
Darrin: [o.s.] No, I got a new game.
Frankie: [v.o.] And the only thing worse than hearing everything is not hearing anything.
Sue: [o.s.] Oh, I love crazy eights. But I've never played it that way before.
Mike: That's it. No boys in the bedroom.
[When Mike walks into Sue's room, she and Darrin each have playing cards stuck on their foreheads]