Mike: Okay, so... you hold the door open for her, you help her out if she's carrying something heavy, and you don't leave in the middle of the date to go trick-or-treating.
Brick: I asked her if she wanted to go with me, and she said no.
Frankie: And that's why you needed to stay home.
Brick: Why would I stay home if I wanted to go?
Mike: Because as a man, you don't get to do what you want.
Brick: What? Why?
Mike: You ever want to kiss her?
Brick: I did enjoy that kiss I got in north Carolina.
Mike: Well, if you ever want to get one in Indiana, you got to do all kinds of things you don't want to do.
Brick: What kind of things?
Mike: Uh... Go see movies you're not interested in, go to brunch, go to church, do errands together, for some reason. Uh... call the electric company, mute the game so she can tell you her dreams.
Frankie: Okay, just to be clear, women do a lot of things we don't want to do, either. [off Mike's look] Birthday.

Brick: Wow. Getting a kiss is sounding very complicated. Okay, okay. I get what you're saying. Chivalry... I'm on it. So I should probably get back out there, right?
Frankie: Oh, my God. Yes. How long have we been in here? Let's go. Let's go.
Brick: How long until you get to start doing things you want to do?
Mike: I'll let you know.

Sue: Okay, I know my $50 sliver doesn't seem like much, but if I get 800 more slivers, that is one year of college. And then, three more years, that's only 2,400 slivers. [giggles] I don't know about you guys, but to me, that seems pretty doable.

[sighs] Hey, you know, I've been kind of thinking about my major.
Frankie: Mm. About business?
Axl: Yeah. What is... it?
Mike: You don't know what business is?
Axl: No. Well, I know, but, like... Okay, I graduate in business, so then, what do I do... exactly?
Mike: Mm.
Frankie: Oh, my gosh. I could see you doing so many things. I mean, you're so good with people, you could go into sales... Maybe be one of those pharmaceutical salesmen?
Brick: I think the most important thing is to work for a company that gives out free pens with the logo on it.
Axl: Okay, not helping.
Mike: Relax, Axl. You don't have to figure it out right now. You're only a sophomore.
Frankie: Yeah, and when you graduate, the school has, like, job-placement counselors to help you out with those things.
Axl: Really? Whew! [chuckles] I feel so much better now. Suck it, future! I'll be worried about you later. Sue, hit me. [Sue throws candy into Axl's mouth]

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, when you're just starting out, the world can seem like a scary place. But sometimes just knowing your family is there to come home to makes you feel a little less alone. And that's not scary at all.
Mike: Okay, Brick, one more time... what should you do when you pick up a girl for a date?
Brick: Stare in her bedroom window to see if she's home?
Frankie: [imitates buzzer]
Mike: That is not the right answer.
Brick: Walk in and look at her books until she's ready?
Frankie: Nope.
Axl: No, come on.
Mike: No. That's better.
Brick: Talk to her parents until she's ready?
All: Hey! There you go!
Brick: Really? That's the right answer? That was my joke answer.

Brad: Okay, whatever that is, I want one.
Sue: What it is is the next big idea on the "Send Sue to college" plan. I'm showing It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown in Mrs. Henley's pumpkin patch. Suggested donation... $5.
Brad: Oh, my God, Sue! Great Pumpkin in a pumpkin patch. Oh! Move over, genius who invented man spanx. [snaps fingers] There's a new girl in town.

Courtney: Hi, Brad. Hi, Brad's new freshman friend.
Sue: Uh... Never mind. I thought you guys graduated.
Debbie: Oh, didn't you hear? We're the assistant coaches for the cheerleaders. We just couldn't abandon the squad, could we, Coach Court?
Courtney: Could not, Coach Deb. Without us, those poor things would've been left with only Coach Campbell, who we all know was not a cheerleader in high school. [smacks lips]
Sue: All righty, then. Do you guys want to come see a movie in a pumpkin patch?
Debbie: Oh. Sounds fun. But we're super-busy taking the squad in a new direction. Things were getting kind of stale, so we're gonna revamp the Orson High cheer style using hip-hop moves, only sharper.
Courtney: But not only that.
Debbie: Yeah, pretty much that.
Courtney: But not totally. [sighs] Anyway... We love sharing an apartment and spending every single second of the day together. Good luck with your movie in the dirt.

Frankie: [v.o.] So, Axl was with books and Brick was with a girl. I'm chalking this one up to Halloween.
[As they watch TV, Brick puts one arm around Cindy's shoulder. She immediately reciprocates and places her arm around Brick's shoulder. Brick now takes his other arm and reaches it in front of Cindy to her other shoulder. She does the same.]
Frankie: Okay, this has to be the oddest thing I've ever seen, but it seems to be working.

Frankie: [v.o.] There comes a time when faith can only take you so far and you have to give up... unless you're Sue.
Sue: [shivers]
Old Farmer: Oh. Shoot. I must have missed the movie, huh?
Sue: Oh! No! No, no, no, no! No, you are right on time.
Old Farmer: [chuckling] Well, happy to hear that. I was at home trying to watch TV, but...Pbht! There's just too many buttons nowadays.
Sue: Well, I'm really glad you came. Right this way. Let me show you to your hay bale.
Old Farmer: Ah.
Sue: Help yourself to a wheelbarrow of popcorn. And here is your ziplock baggy of raisinets.

Old Farmer: Gets better every time.
Sue: It does, doesn't it?
Old Farmer: I always feel bad about that, uh, Linus kid, though. He's so crushed when the Great Pumpkin doesn't turn up at the end.
Sue: Really? I don't think it's sad at all. To me, it just shows that you don't always get what you hoped for, but you can still keep trying.
Old Farmer: Uh... [reaches for money]
Sue: Oh. No. Please. You don't have to worry about that. I'm just glad that you came and you had a nice time.
Old Farmer: After all the trouble you went to to set this all up? No, no, no, no, no. I insist. [places money down] All righty. I better get on with it. The Great Pumpkin may have left some presents at my house. [clicks tongue] [chuckles]