Blanche: Good morning! Isn't it great to be home?
Dorothy: Oh, absolutely. You know, I have an irresistible urge to kiss every piece of furniture in the house.
Sophia: You wouldn't if you had dates like other people.

Rose: Well, I thought it all over and you were just trying to help me. And I can't stay mad at my best friends. After all, we've eaten over 500 cheesecakes together. Besides, you weren't raised in St. Olaf. It's not your fault you're chronic two-faced liars.

Rose: Girls, look. It's the St. Olaf woman-of-the-year trophy. It says here I won woman of the year after all because I embody the values of truth and honesty for which the award stands.
Sophia: What happened to Emma Immerhoffer?
Rose: She was disqualified when they found a skeleton in her closet.
Dorothy: What was it?
Rose: Mr. Immerhoffer.

Dorothy: Blanche, I'm glad we're alone. There's something I think we should do.
Blanche: Dorothy, I like you as a friend, but I think I'll pass.

Rose: I don't believe it. This is incredible news. I've been nominated for St. Olaf woman of the year.
Blanche: That's nice. Did the new TV Guide come yet?
Sophia: Blanche, you don't understand. In St. Olaf this is the highest honor there is. Oh, I never dreamed that someone as unqualified as I am would ever be nominated for anything so important.
Dorothy: I guess Dan Quayle really opened the floodgates.

Dorothy: Morning, Rose.
[Rose sobs and goes straight into the kitchen]
Blanche: Dorothy, sometimes you can be so cruel.

Rose: I was listing my accomplishments for the St. Olaf woman of the year. It wasn't till I saw them in black and white that I realized my top accomplishments aren't worth a damn.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, now, Rose. You're forgetting how much you give to people. How about all that work down at the counseling center?
Blanche: That's right. Why honey, you must help hundreds of people every year.
Rose: All I do is talk to them. Big deal.
Blanche: Well, it is a big deal. Do you know how much a kind and loving word means to a person in despair?
Dorothy: That is your gift, Rose, and I wouldn't take it lightly.

Blanche: Honey, are you feeling better?
Rose: A little. I tried this technique I read about to cheer myself up. You stand in front of a mirror and you tell yourself, "I love you," and then you give yourself a great big hug.
Sophia: Yeah, my son Phil used to do that all the time. He couldn't pass a mirror without saying, "I love you." I can't tell you how many times he got punched out in the men's room.

Dorothy: Rose, please. Gentlemen, you're embarrassing her. I mean, the woman is a saint. And she's far too modest to take credit for any of her good deeds. So what do you say? Do we have a winner here or not?
Len, Sven & Ben: Rose Nylund, you are St. Olaf's woman of the year.

Rose: Well, I'll tell you, the best part of this whole thing is sharing the most important moment of your life with your best friends.
Blanche: We're just happy to be with you when you get your little plaque.
Rose: Oh, Blanche, it's more than a plaque. In St. Olaf it's the highest honor. We all think of it as a reminder that no matter how bad things may be in the rest of the world, St. Olaf is still a place that's filled with honest people leading honest lives.